Weekly World News » conservatives

JOHN LENNON WAS A REPUBLICAN

Tap Vann — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 15:26:49 +0000

LONDON - John Lennon’s personal diaries reveal that he was a staunch conservative and a registered Republican.

John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death – according to the tragic Beatles star’s last personal assistant.

Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1970 to Lennon’s death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self. Lennon felt that people are “liberals” and “democrats” until their brains are fully formed – then, when they can “think properly” they must become a Republican.

David Mamet, who just published his book, A Secret Knowledge, which is about h is conversion to conservatism, said that he agree wholeheartedly, “you can’t be a liberal and a person of intellect. They are mutually exclusive.”

In new documentary Beatles Stories, Seaman tells filmmaker Seth Swirsky Lennon wasn’t the peace-loving militant fans thought he was while he was his assistant.

He says, “John, basically, made it very clear that if he were an American he would vote for Reagan because he was really sour on (Democrat) Jimmy Carter - and because he believed Reagan’s policies were the best for America – and the world.”

“He’d met Reagan back, in the 70s at some sporting event… Reagan was the guy who had ordered the National Guard, I believe, to go after the young (peace) demonstrators in Berkeley, so I think that John maybe forgot about that… He did express solid support for Reagan, which shocked me.

“I also saw John embark in some really brutal arguments with my uncle, who’s an old-time communist. He enjoyed really provoking my uncle… Maybe he was being provocative… but it was pretty obvious to me he had moved away from his earlier radicalism.

“He was a very different person back in in the late 70s than he’d been when he wrote Imagine. By 1979 he looked back on that guy and was embarrassed by that guy’s naivete.”

U2′s lead singer, Bono, who is under fire for not paying his fair share of taxes in Ireland, said in a statement today that he agrees with Lennon, “you’d have to be a blithering buffoon to believe liberal economic policies.” Bono said that he would have voted for Bush and McCain. ”The world is a economic disaster because of liberals.”

“All we are saying… is give conservatism a chance,” said Bono.

ED ANGER SAYS: GOP = GANG OF PANSIES!

Ed Anger — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:58:44 +0000

I’m as fed up as Rosie O’Donnell at an all-you-can-eat buffet about what’s happening to the Republicans!

Every since their big get-together last week, everybody’s fighting about “the future of conservatives.” Namby pamby Beltway big shots tell us to dump Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber, and get more classy and “intellectual” like them!

Heck, some of these “conservatives” even voted for Teleprompter Jesus himself!

Don’t listen to these stuck up sons of Benedict Arnold. Has Ross Douthat or David Brooks ever won a chili cook-off or fired a few rounds off a .45? David Frum probably can’t even change a tire without his Filipino nanny helping out.

They’re not like right wing leaders of the past. Remember the late, great Esther Schenectady, who started the American Institution Institute and led the fight against putting fluoride in our water. (“Today your teeth. Tomorrow your mind!”)

What about ex-commie spy Osprey Whitsunson (author of “From Comrade to
Christ”) or Julius Katzenjammer, who wrote my favorite economical book, “The State is Your Slavemaster” (1972)?

Dagnabbit, those wise old leaders are gone. I’m the last one of the era.
But those Seepack guys won’t let me come to their big get-together since back in ’64, when I beaned Happy Rockefeller with a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. (That slut!)

But we have new ones leaders – and they’re the people the snooty boys hate. Heck, Rush Limbaugh isn’t Hitler – he’s Winston Churchill! My fellow red, white and blue blooded Americans, ignore the Gang of Pansies! Keep cheering the real conservatives who appreciate and understand us normal folks in Flyswatter Country.

(Except for that Mormon who cries all the time. Boy needs to start drinking again…)

PALIN BAGS A BIGFOOT

Reginald Cunningham III — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:34:18 +0000

WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.

A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.

The Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as it is known in scientific circles, was found dead on the outskirts of the park, just south of Wasilla, Alaska. Preliminary forensics reports confirm that an adult male Sasquatch was shot in the face with Palin’s trademark 5mm M4 Carbine Assault Rifle.

Environmental groups are in an uproar at the hunting death of a rare and notoriously reclusive species. Efforts to have the Sasquatch placed on the endangered species list have met with repeated opposition from state legislature, since protecting the ‘Missing Link’ could be seen as validating evolution.

Conservatives have immediately rallied to their party’s new star, citing that gun ownership and hunting are indelible parts of American culture. Indeed this point is hard to argue, as John Adams was notorious for having captured what he called a “Skunk Ape” and killing it with his bare hands on the White House lawn in front of a paying audience.

UPDATE: PALINTOLOGY REVEALED!

Hideaki Tailor — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:47:13 +0000

BREAKING NEWS!

These drawings were found left behind on Palin’s debate notes last night showing both her belief in what should be taught in schools but also her view on the natural evolution of woman. The images show Palin evolving from Christian obedience, gunslinging hunter, patriotic beauty queen, and expectant wife to Governor Mother.

These drawings give further backing to the rumored leak of confidential papers expanding on Palin’s faith-friendly approach to school science, “Palintology”.

Apparently, evolution, global warming, carbon dating, and dinosaurs will be presented as theories which children are welcome to disregard if they choose. During tests, students will have the option of providing a traditional scientific answer or saying “God did it.” Any answer the student gives will be seen as equally valid and protected by their First Amendment rights.

“Many natural processes,” Palin writes, “are too complicated to be fully understood. Godly intervention is just as legitimate as any other scientific theory. I mean, there’s a reason why bananas are ideal for human consumption. Do you think evolution made it so perfectly hand-sized?

“Maybe ‘Darwinism’ used to make sense, but we’ve got guns now. Survival of the fittest doesn’t apply anymore.”

Critics in the scientific world remain livid, but many Americans feel its the only way to take their classrooms back. It is rumored Palintology has drawn support from celebrities including former “Growing Pains” star Kirk Cameron and Mel Gibson.

Thursday, October 2, 2008
Republican insiders are abuzz with speculation that Sarah Palin may reveal during tonight’s Vice Presidential debate a faith-friendly take on science the Governor calls ‘Palintology’ in an effort to sway voters.

Hoping to galvanize Republicans in time for the election Governor Palin has released a system for public school science classes which she says “leaves room for faith.” Conservatives are hailing the idea as an appropriate middle ground.

Stay tuned for additional reporting!