LOS ANGELES, CA – Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a homicide.

Dr. Conrad Murray could be facing criminal charges.  According to a Los Angeles coroner’s finding, Michael Jackson’s death was conclusively caused by an overdose of Propofol administered by Dr. Murray.  When first questioned Dr. Murray lied to the police about administering Propofol, which could result in criminal charges.

Los Angeles authorities are still trying to definitively determine Jackson’s cause of death, despite the fact that he may not be dead.  There are several theories that the LAPD are following to explain his sudden death, and the mysterious disappearance of his body.

THEORY #1
Dr. Conrad Murray convinced Michael Jackson to join an elite club of aristocrats who meet regularly to play a game of life and death.  Jackson drew the ace, the card of death, and Murray administered the Propofol to follow the rules of the game.  Once deceased the group took Jackson’s body to conceal their activities.

THEORY #2
Following a crisis of faith, Michael Jackson convinced Dr. Murray to kill him, then recuscitate him minutes later.  Dr. Murray failed to bring Michael back and in a panic called the police.  The body was later lost due to clerical error.

THEORY #3
Michael Jackson was at the heart of intergalactic espionage.  During a tour through the Sagittarion system, Michael was going to deliver secret documents to an ambassador of the Qwoak people.  Sagittarion agents made an assassination attempt but were quickly dispatched by the physically superior Michael Jackson.  When he went to Murray for treatment, the doctor mistook him for human and accidentally poisoned the singer.  Now Murray is on the run with alien documents that could save or kill a planet.  Upon his death Michael’s body was retrieved by delegates of his home planet, and now rests in a place of honor among the stars.

Doctor Murray was briefly taken in to custody by police, but is now on the run in a manhunt that is expected to last the better part of an afternoon.  Michael Jackson was last seen ordering a snow-cone in South Dakota’s badlands.