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Tag Archives: congress
US SELLS ALASKA TO RUSSIA
WASHINGTON – US forced to sell Alaska in order to combat with the rising national debt.
CONGRESS REPEALS DADT
WASHINGTON – The Senate voted to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for the military, then applied it to Congress!
LABOR DAY RENAMED SEX DAY.
WASHINGTON – Due to the poor economy, Congress voted today to rename Labor Day. This year it will be called “Sex Day.”
DEVIL PUTS A FREEZE ON BUYING SOULS
HADES – The Devil, overwhelmed by people selling their souls, is putting a temporary freeze on soul purchases.
NANCY PELOSI JOINS TEA PARTY CAUCUS
WASHINGTON – Several days after Michele Bachmann won approval for The Tea Party Caucus in the House, Nancy Pelosi has announced she will join.
GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING
WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.
BAILOUT PACKAGE NEGLECTS ATHLETES
NEW YORK, NY – Times are tough. The economy is tanking. And some sports leagues, teams, and stadiums have imposed a ticket price freeze.
SELF-PARKING CAR SECRET
DETROIT, MI – After announcing new “self-parking” cars, reports have emerged about the source of the revolutionary technology – goblins!
NORTH POLE REQUESTS BAILOUT
WASHINGTON, DC – Santa Claus has requested a $14 million federal bailout to avoid a crash which could cancel Christmas.
PALIN EXTERMINATING BIGFOOT
MARTINSVILLE, IL. – Bigfoot must be placed on Endangered Species List, and activists lay blame on Sarah Palin!
