WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.

NEW YORK, NY – Times are tough. The economy is tanking. And some sports leagues, teams, and stadiums have imposed a ticket price freeze.

DETROIT, MI – After announcing new “self-parking” cars, reports have emerged about the source of the revolutionary technology – goblins!

WASHINGTON, DC – Santa Claus has requested a $14 million federal bailout to avoid a crash which could cancel Christmas.

MARTINSVILLE, IL. – Bigfoot must be placed on Endangered Species List, and activists lay blame on Sarah Palin!

The nation’s undead community is demanding the right to health insurance—and it is a battle it can win

The “Road to Nowhere” in fact leads to a delicious, yet invisible to human eyes, Alien-franchised Quizno’s

Fatfoot and Charlie Rangel were spotted fighting in a Dunkin Donuts in Washington Heights