DENVER, CO – Mark Obmascik created a fake UFO video with his kids to pass the time, and ended up fooling UFO enthusiasts!Obmascik was stuck with the usual parents’ conundrum: how to keep your children busy during summer vacation. So he took up a cheap video camera and a $5 circular LED light, and filmed a fake UFO video with them.

Pleased with the result, the kids innocently posted it on YouTube. Unbeknownst to them, the video took off, and within a day, was being posted on sites like the Paranormal Network!

Check out the video below:

Obmascik has since written an interesting piece on what his children learned from the experience.

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News commentator Glenn Beck is taking time out from his various news shows to do comedy.

For six weeks in Denver, Glenn Beck will mix observational humor with political opinion, all with this trademark soothsaying of Armageddon and emotional instability.

Beck, who has no history with comedy whatsoever, describes his coming performances as a mix of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense with “a poor man’s Seinfeld.”

A publicity clip of Beck trying out his material in a New York nightclub includes the following excerpt.

“Did you ever notice how the Obama administration is steering us directly towards the coming apocalypse? [Some laughter] I said, did you ever notice?!  I’m asking you a question, people!  The end of times are neigh and we’re being walked right to it by a secret Muslim who has never said he’s NOT the Antichrist, and you don’t even care!! [Audible sobbing] But I care.  I care for my country… So.  Much.  (Loud sigh) I just love my country too much.”

During the four-minute clip, Beck cries 3 times and throws a chair at someone towards the end.  He will be opening at Chuckleheads in Denver on June 1st.

UPDATE: Death-ray-wielding open source software supporters are expected to crash the MacWorld convention in San Francisco.

Apple Enthusiasts are sporting their armored Powerbooks and reflective laptop bags at the MacWorld expo this week.

After Apple tried to stop the spread of an application that gives regular iPhones death ray capability, supporters are expected to retaliate by attending the popular Apple convention.

Specialized Apple gear, like an iPod equipped gas mask or the iLive full body armor with wifi, is will be available at the convention.  Apple’s executives will attend the convention via telecom from the iFallout Shelter.

December 31, 2008

BOULDER, CO – Dr. Michael Heinous of Colorado State University has developed a death ray application for the iPhone.

“This is monumental day for both death ray technology and open source software” said Dr. Heinous.

The application, when downloaded, equips any regular iPhone or iPod touch with death ray capabilities.

Apple is attempting to legally block the death rays distribution after 2 million people downloaded it over the Christmas holiday.

Steve Jobs took time from constructing an android body that will let his consciousness live forever to issue a statement: “Apple does not approve of this application.  Death ray technology and open source software are dangerous when released to the general public and are not in keeping with our corporate policy.”

Dr. Heinous works at Colorado State University in their Evil Science department.  “Hopefully this application will help me topple the world governments and rise to power.  Or at least get me tenure.”

DENVER, Colo. — Playboy Kurt Fulson has never made a proposal on his knee. “Though I have, in fact, just received one there,” the billionaire told Weekly World News.

Fulson, who took a nasty spill while snowboarding on Aspen Mountain, discovered a phone number stitched into his left leg after reconstructive surgery. “I saw the name ‘Sandy’ sutured right next to the number,” Fulson added. ‘Sandy’ turned out to be Dr. Sandra Nemington, head of the surgical team responsible for rebuilding Fulson’s ligaments.

 “I saw him when he arrived for prep and couldn’t resist leaving my info,” Dr. Nemington said. “I imagine he gets a lot of numbers and I didn’t want him to overlook mine.” Nemington insisted that the digits, artfully stitched, won’t become part of Fulson’s permanent scar in case things don’t work out.

Will love bloom a patella? Fulson remained guarded during a set of leg exercises with his physical therapist, Natasha. “I can’t make any promises,” he said with a wink, “though so far, Sandy has made me a bit wobbly in the knees.”