WASHINGTON -   For the first time in history the U.S. credit rating was downgraded – and the White House celebrated in style!

Standard & Poor’s announced Friday night that it has downgraded the sterling U.S. credit rating for the first time in the nation’s history.  The Obama Administration not only shrugged off the announcement, and held another barbecue party before the President headed to Camp David for more parties this weekend.

“We’re still AA+,” said Jay Carney, the White House Press Secretary.  “An A+ is an A+, we’re still at the top of the class.  If we were downgraded to a B or B+ we would be concerned, but we’re still A rated!”

Obama’s had it’s second Hip-Hop BBQ in two days.   The President had Earth, Wind and Fire over to the White House along with Jay-Z, Beyonce and Oprah.  They all danced in a conga line around Tim Geithner, the Treasury Secretary, who seem unfazed by the downgrade.

“It’s a tiny downgrade, we’ll be upgraded soon.  It’s no big deal.  Have another mojito,” said Geithner to WWN’s Frank Lake.

S&P decided to lower the AAA rating, held by the United States for 70 years, to AA+ after a bipartisan debt deal signed into law this week failed to assuage concerns about the nation’s growing spending.

Analysts have said a downgrade could increase the cost of borrowingfor the U.S. government and lead to tens of billions of dollars in more interest costs per year. That could translate into higher borrowing for consumers and businesses, too.

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were at the White House “dancing barefoot in the Rose Garden.”

“The downgrade does not affect the White House,” said one White House insider, “we all just got 20% pay raises!”

Tom Hanks danced on a piano rug with Susan Sarandon.

CHICAGO, IL – As tax day approaches, protest “tea parties” rev up to high gear in preparation for nation-wide movements by sending out recipes for a successful tea party.

National event coordinator for the Tea Party movement Suzie Howard sent an email blast this weekend to supporters.

“While there is no right way to stage a tea party protest, there are many things you can do to ensure a successful event,” Kramer said.  “You can’t do this alone and you must be organized.  You may want to think about holding an organizational planning meeting with other people.”

With the number of interested people growing into the dozens nationwide, Kramer decided to take a more active role in helping smaller Tea Parties with the necessary tools for staging the protest.

“I have received at least two e-mails from supporters asking for an official Tea Party recipe to make sure their event is up to the standards of the national movement.  And as I said earlier, there is no one recipe we are endorsing, as each Tea Party should be brewed to the tastes of the local constituency, I will share the recipe being used for the National Event in  Sacramento, California.”

Obtained from an anonymous source on the groups email list, the Tea Party recipe shared by Kramer with supporters is printed below in its unedited entirety.

1 fat guy with a megaphone
11 frothing-at-the-mouth fiscal conservatives
14 vaguely colonial costumes, powdered wigs encouraged, but not required
3 out-of-place black guys
7 confused elderly women
6 misspelled signs
1 self-loathing homosexual
23 textbooks featuring evolution, the New Deal or the moon landing (to be used as kindling)
1 effigy of FDR
1 vague message about fiscal responsibility muddled by decries of Socialism in government

Choose one of the following, but be careful to not combine more than two:
6 Asians (preferably female, or if male, over 40)
No more than 4 Jews (none over the age of 45, the kvetching sours the tea)
1 Latino man, over the age of 30, preferably resembling Jaime Escalante
7 minority babies in Baby Bjorns or 3-wheeled strollers

Oversized tea bags w/dollar signs printed on the side
Up to 1 trillion dollars in small bills to fill the tea bags
As many tea pots or large cauldrons as needed to serve protesters, spectators and the press

Mix all the ingredients in the tea bags, set fire to the text books to bring water to boil, steep the mixture in the water for 8 years or until the Republican party takes control of the House and/or Senate.

BOSTON, MA – Rick Santelli plans to throw the world’s most expensive Tea Party to protest of the Stimulus Plan, serving hundred dollar bills steeped in hot water!

Santelli is an arch-conservative CNBC reporter, who has received a lot of media coverage over the last week for an on-air rant decrying government spending and waste embodied, he says, by the passing of the recent stimulus bill.

His new organization, The New American Tea Party, acting like an umbrella organization encompassing several fiscally conservative political watch and advocacy groups, aims at undermining the stimulus by preventing the funds from reaching their assigned targets.

“There is so much pork in this bill it would give the healthiest man a heart attack!”  Santelli bellowed on CNBC.  “Millions here for the arts.  Millions there for roads.  What’s a couple hundred million for unemployment benefits?!  Sure, why not?  Lets encourage people not to get jobs.  Let’s just give them more taxpayer money to not work and not pay taxes which would go to someone else who is not working!”

“It’s lunacy!”

Santelli’s organization is working closely with conservative lawmakers, specifically governors and state legislators who will most directly receive stimulus funds.

“We’ve already had somewhere in the ballpark of 50 million dollars of stimulus money pledged by local lawmakers for use in the tea party,” Santelli says in a blog posting on the groups website.

“Rather than that money going to these ridiculous and wasteful pet projects, we are going to proverbally put it our pipes and smoke it!  But rather than smoking it, we’ll be drinking it.  In our tea.  Literally.”

Inspired by the Boston Tea Party, which famously threw crates of tea into the Boston Harbor rather than have it sold for inflated prices and with outlandish taxes, the New American Tea Party will in fact steep hundreds of hundred dollar bills in near-boiling water.

“I’m going to drink it down and urinate it out!  I plan to show that the stimulus money will be as effective at stimulating the economy as my urine will be to stimulate my lawn.  Which is un-stimulating!  It will kill my lawn!  And the stimulus will kill the economy!”

UPDATE: The Tea Party organization has released a suggested recipe for upcoming parties. Click here to read!