MOSCOW – Russian scientists predict alien encounters on earth by January 8th, 2012.

Russian scientists released a report yesterday that said they expect humans to encounter aliens on earth by the beginning of 2012.

“The genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms …  Alien life exists on other planets AND it exists on our planes,” said Andrei Yanstein, director of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Applied Astronomy Institute, according to the Interfax news agency.

“We have developed a technology that will allow humans to identify the aliens among us,” said Yanstein.  He would not elaborate on the technology that allows to do this, but he did say that the Russians were “way out ahead of the Americans on this one.”

Yanstein said that aliens have different color skin, “which may be transparent at times.”   He explained that aliens have been increasing in numbers over the last 15 months.

“This correlates to the ongoing alien invasion,” said Professor John Malley of the UN Panel on Extraterrestrials.  “Aliens have been invading our planet since February of 2009, with an increased number in October of 2010 and now… the full invasion is under way.  Humans must prepare.”

The UN said that it will be coordinating plans for dealing with extraterrestrials – and at this point they can not guarantee that they will be friendly.  “It all depends on how humans react to them.  If we are kind and welcoming, we can co-exist.  If are afraid and start attacking – there will be an all out alien war.  And we will lose,” said Malley.

Yanstein went on to says that 10% of the known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth and most of them have life forms similar to humans.

If water can be found there, then so can life, he said, adding that aliens would most likely resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head.

Richard Coolidge, an astrobiologist at the US space agency’s Marshall space flight center in Alabama, agreed with the findings of the Russian report.  “Aliens are here, and they are making themselves known,” said Coolidge.

Asked how the Russians came up with the January 8th date, Yanstein replied, “we spent several years analyzing the data and that is the farthest point possible for the aliens to reveal themselves without being noticed by the naked human eye.”

Writing in the Journal of Cosmology, Hoover claimed that the lack of nitrogen in the samples, which is essential for life on Earth, indicated they are “the remains of extraterrestrial life forms that grew on the parent bodies of the meteorites when liquid water was present, long before the meteorites entered the Earth’s atmosphere.”

Get ready for your… close encounter!

Mygar, one of the galaxy’s biggest movie experts, presents the top 8 most influential depictions of aliens in film.

Greetings and Salutations, sentients.  This is your humble master of ceremonies, Mygar.  Again it has fallen upon me to share my wealth of knowledge for the enlightenment of all things epicurean.

Today I shall be sharing eight of the greatest and most influential alien films to come from your planet.

8. Alien

A romantic tragedy for the ages.  The story of an unnamed parasitic alien and the woman the stars destined him to be with.  He is born into a confined and cruel world, unable to help what he is.  Soon he falls in love with the strong and spirited Ripley, but she cannot understand his language and in ignorance kills him, committing his body to the stars.  This has been turned into an opera in the Kleo system.

7. Close Encounters of the Third Kind

A rousing documentary of one fateful night in Earth’s history.  The film is made ever more poignant by the final two hours, where the government hushes everything up, having been cut from the film so it could be marketed as a fictional narrative.  A victim of its own message.

6. The Day the Earth Stood Still

The first use of actual aliens in cinema.  After being abducted several times, writer Harry Bates eventually befriended his captors and they began a dialogue about the nature of mankind.  Once released, Bates began working on a story based on his experience.  It is a little known fact that during production, Bates was able to cast his new friends in small parts in the movie.

5. The Abyss

Written by an entirely alien staff, it gave voice to the Extra Terrestrial perspective on global affairs.  It was a blatant metaphor, painted in broad strokes, but conveying the precise message that millions had wanted to say.  Aliens even played a crucial part in the film.  It was a distinct moment in a culture when aliens on earth finally felt that their voice was being heard.

4. Predator

The first openly gay alien to star in a Hollywood film.  Rumors of a romantic affair between the two primary stars were never proven, but also never dis-proven.  That two of the film’s principal actors went from action movie obscurity to elected office has only fueled the controversy.

3. Cocoon

Few works of art can inspire hate-filled vitriol in dozens of species the way this film can.  Riots broke out that covered entire planets once news of this film hit the airwaves.  It is the benchmark of alien stereotypes in film: aliens having ‘magic’ powers, aliens forced to serve a lower life form, Steve Gutenberg.  This film has become synonymous with insensitivity to inter-species relations, and as such has served as a warning sign to help promote healing across the galaxy.

2. Lilo & Stitch

Doesn’t everyone love this movie?  It’s just fun, and depicts how friendly alien-human relations can be.  And yes, I did cry a little the first time I watched it.  I am mature and secure enough to admit that.

1. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Based of the epic of Kringlaar, which chronicled the failed Martian invasion of Venus.  According to legend, after Kringlaar’s wife was put in stasis, he led the resistance to defeat the vastly superior Martian fleet.  Originally intended to be much truer to the source material, arguments between the director and the studio led to the compromise of using an Earth folk hero in place of Kringlaar.  The movie is still used in history classes throughout the system.

This is a personal list of the top 8 alien films.  For the sake of education and edification, I hope you choose to explore them on your own time with the added depth of considering the alien perspective.

As always, your humble servant, Mygar.

READERS: What is your favorite alien movie? Vote in the poll to the right!