GAINESVILLE, FL – Scientists at the University of Florida have successfully cloned a dinosaur, a spokesman from the university said yesterday.

The dinosaur, a baby Apatosaurus nicknamed “Spot,” is currently being incubated at the University of Florida’s College of Veterinary Medicine.

The scientists extracted DNA from preserved Apatosaurus fossils, which were on display at the university’s museum of natural science. Once the DNA was harvested, scientists injected it into a fertile ostrich womb.

“Ostriches share a lot of genetic traits with dinosaurs,” said Dr. Norman Trudell, a biology professor at UF and the project’s leading scientist. “Their eggshell microstructures are almost identical to those of the Apatosaurus. That’s why the cloning worked so perfectly.”

Those in the scientific community say the dinosaur cloning – the first ever of its kind – is a milestone for genetic engineering.

“I used to think this kind of thing could only happen in the movies,” said Dr. Sven Bjornsen, a UF chemistry professor. “But we’re making it happen right here in our lab. It’s astounding.”

The cloning attracted the attention of a wide variety of animal rights activists and religious groups. They claim that animal cloning is unethical and immoral.

PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk criticized the scientists for performing potentially life threatening threats on a new species.

“These scientists brought an animal from the Jurassic age back to life – just to watch it suffer!” she said.

But Dr. Trudell doesn’t seem to be bothered by the activists’ quibbling. He says that the opportunities afforded by dinosaur cloning are endless.

Within ten years, we could repopulate the world with dinosaurs,” he said. “We could harvest them for civic service, law enforcement, or even mass transportation.”

“Imagine riding to work on a dinosaur,” he continued. “Wouldn’t that be incredible?”

As of press time, the dinosaur is in stable condition. Scientists plan to run more tests on him today.

VANCOUVER – Scientists have successfully cloned Justin Beiber.  They plan to  form the world’s greatest boy band!

“In a world where internet singing sensations are a dime a dozen, it only makes sense to take the greatest boy singer ever, clone him, and produce the greatest boy band of all time,” said Ed Rothenberger, a scientist in the University of Vancouver’s genetic research department. “Now girls will have four times the Beiber to swoon over!”

Scientists at the university said they were able to clone Beiber by using DNA from a strand of his golden, shaggy locks. After a few days of expirementation, they were able to create three perfectly identical Beiber clones.

“They all look exactly the same,” said Will Shapiro, a lab technician at the University of Vancouver. “Every single one of them has the same goofy smile, the same cheesy haircut, and the same arrogant, upturned nose. It’s unbelievable!”

According to recent reports, scientists at the university have teamed up with British billionaire Sir Richard Branson to market and publicize the genetically modified boy band.

“We’re going to call it ‘Just The Beibs,’” said Branson. “It’ll be every twelve year olds’ dream come true.”

But even from the get-go, the group has run into its fair share of logistical problems. That’s why Branson has called in Keith Campbell, the scientist known for his ground breaking work with Dolly the cloned sheep, for help.

“As the clones develop, the real challenge has been dealing with their individual,” said Campbell, “not to mention keeping track of which one is the original Beiber.”

Still, Campbell remains hopeful that the Beiber super group can pull it together within no time.

“Once the remaining kinks are worked out with the clones, they will be ready for the studio. We expect to have them laying down tracks in the months to come.”

Other celebrities have expressed interests in being cloned, and scientists at University of Vancouver have not ruled out the possibility of cloning other pop-culture icons.

“What Beibs is doing is mad smart,” proclaimed Kanye West, a fellow member of the Island Def Jam label. “It even made me want to clone myself. Because the one thing world could always use is another cocky, untalented Kanye West!”

Representatives from Island Def Jam records declined to comment on the release date of the Boy Band’s debut album but inside sources have said to be on the look out for the debut album “We are One” in late spring 2011.

[photos by Boy Mack]

MIAMI, FL – Aliens have finally fessed up over the famed model with the missing navel.

It recently came to light that fashion model Karolina Kurkova is in fact missing a belly button. Many of Karolina’s earlier photos had included strategically-placed clothing or been outright digitally altered. But recent shots of the model on a bikini shoot revealed her true nature.

Medical specialists are claiming her lack of navel is due to an abdominal operation during infancy, but Weekly World News has learned the real reason.

Aliens have stepped forward and claimed responsibility: they created Kurkova! “Many critics say super models are freaks of nature. Well, technically, they are!” explained K’toh, owner of Galaxy Models.

“We clone perfect human beings and lease them out to Earth-based modeling agencies. Since clones do not grow in the womb, they aren’t born with belly buttons. We just add them on post-creation.

“Unfortunately, Karolina #89′s missing navel was an oversight. Her technician has since been let go. We’ll be more than happy to refund her agency DNA Model Management if they are unsatisfied!”