CLEVELAND, OH – The 5,676-foot-peak, located 40 miles outside Cleveland erupted this morning.

CLEVELAND – With the economy in a coma – Detroit and Cleveland are becoming farms once again.

JACKSONVILLE, FL — IMG, the sports management agency representing Tiger Woods for the last 12 years – has dumped him!

CLEVELAND – Authorities have confirmed a UFO over Lake Erie.

CLEVELAND – Roma Gypsies are invading Cleveland, taking advantage of the current economic crisis to set up tent neighborhoods.

CLEVELAND – Doctors have finally diagnosed Jimmy Carter’s mysterious medical condition: he’s pregnant!

TOLEDO – A crazed burger killer is on the loose in Ohio – stabbing cheeseburgers across the state.

CLEVELAND, OH – A 75-year-old woman has admitted to killing a 25-pound fawn with a shovel because of the way it looked at her. Is there a deer uprising?

CLEVELAND, OH – Teammates are becoming suspicious that recently acquired cheerleader Stephanie Peters is in fact an undercover operative from a rival high school.

CLEVELAND, OH – The Cleveland Browns are on the look-out for a new leader after Coach Crennel went missing under supernatural circumstances.