HAINAN SANYA – China has begun training female Navy Seals.

Elite women from across China tried to make the cut for the first ever Chinese Navy Seals.  Modeled after the U.S. Navy Seal Training program, these Chinese women were put through a week of intense training, including the killer “devil day” that forced a number of the aspiring Seals to drop out.

The girls had to undertake 8-10 months of training to master the basics of combat and self-defense, before even beginning the Seal tryout.   They all had to have university degrees as well.

The big difference with the U.S. Naval Seal program is that the women had to be deemed “beautiful” by the commanding officers.  If a woman was not “beautiful” she was eliminated.

Only twenty women were selected as Chinese Seals.

China feels that the women, who look unassuming, are the most elite fighting force on the planet and can rival, and surpass, the elite fighters from Israel and the U.S.

Chinese military officials told WWN that these women are smartest, strongest, and deadliest soldiers – in the world.   The source told WWN that if the Chinese female Seals were hunting someone like Osama Bin Laden, then would find him and take him out within two days.  That’s what they say…

Below are some exclusive pictures from “Devil Day.”

The recruits running sprints across the beach:

They call this the “human ladder.”

A female recruit stepping on another recruits abdomens.  They were then forced to jump-up-and down on the recruits stomachs for – half and hour!

The drill sargeant forcing them to hold their breath for three minutes.

The drill sergeant punishing a eam member who couldn’t carry on by tossing hot water on her:

The four-hour long circle crawl:

The beach crawl:

The marathon at the end of the day:

LOS ANGELES – There are rumors out of China that companies hired to produce Kardashian products – use slave labor!

The Kardashians — who make millions of bucks off of their fashion lines — use “slave labor” and turn a blind eye to shocking working conditions … this according to news reports out of Los Angeles, China and a small island near Fiji.

They also reportedly make their workers wear “Kardashian” clothes to work and during their breaks they have to watch Kardashian reality shows.  Sources at the factories told WWN that watching the Kardashians is the real torture.  They feel that Americans are the ones that are the real “Kardashian slaves.”

A human rights group is investigating claims that workers in China — as young as 12 — are working in squalid conditions to manufacture merchandise for the K-Dash by Kardashian label, the Kris Jenner Kollection and ShoeDazzle, according to a Star Magazine investigation.

The Kardashians seemed unaffected by the reports:

The institute for Global Labour and Human Rights confirmed with TMZ that they have launched an investigation, amidst claims the Kardashians’ products are produced in factories reeking of stench from sewage, with temperatures north of 110 degrees.  An official from the organization told WWN, conditions in the factories that manufacture Kardashian products are “horrific.”

Here’s one of the better factories reportedly making Kardashian products:

“The Kardashians are multi-millionaires, thanks to the American public, and they employ people who work in sub-human conditions.  It’s just awful,” said a source close to Global Labour.

There are also claims the employees work up to 94 hours a week, earning $1 an hour (at the most).   The Kardashians rake in approximately $65 million a year – unless they have a faux wedding, in which case they can rake in up to $170 million a year.

The Kardashians are denying that they employ slaves (Kris Humphries excluded).

Kris Jenner told TMZ that the factories in China manufacture a number of products unrelated to Kardashian lines.  Jenner said, “As far as I know the factories that are used to manufacture the Kardashian clothing and shoes have nothing terrible going on at all and the factories are very well policed and meet factory standards.”   Kris says she has not visited the factories in China.

But she reportedly loves the products they make for their Las Vegas store.  ”They do great work,” said a source close to Kris.

Producers for the Kardashian empire had a great idea to capitalize on the slave labor rumors… “they’re talking about having another reality show, Kardashians Go To China,” said producer Joe Gilmore.  ”They will work in the factories that make their products and they will help to make all that work their beautiful and happy and ‘kool’.   They think they can change China – in 13 episodes.”

The Kardashians feel that they should capitalize on any news about their family – whether it be good or bad.  ”It’s  all good news, as long as we can make money,” said a source close to the Kardashians.

Barbara Walters recently named the Kardashians “the most fascinating women in America,” and reportedly told friends that she believes the Kardashians represent all that is right with America.

Kim was recently in Haiti – helping girls living in poverty pick out the “perfect” mascara.

According to insiders, the Kardashians believe they represent “normal Americans” and because they are “famous for being famous” that affords them the opportunity to heal the world.  ”We have special powers,” said a source close to the family.

Look out China… here they come!

BINCHUAN, CHINA -  Aliens from Gootan have been spotted throughout Yunnan province in China. 

WWN continues to follow the landing of three large spaceships from Planet Gootan – that arrived on November 29th.  One ship landed in the Bali Sea, near Kangean Island and two ships landed in a field near Lijang, China.

Some readers continue to be skeptical of the landings – but WWN has been following the developments closely.  Is it an attack?  It is not clear yet, but three aliens ships from Planet Gootan are now on earth and experts from the U.N. Panel of Extraterrestrials estimate that between ten thousand and thirty thousand Gootans are now on Earth.

Aliens were spotted near Binchuan, China – a city that was devastated by an earthquake in 2008.

According to sources in China, there have been hundreds of reports of strange apparitions, beings, moving through towns in Yunnan Province:

– ANNING.  Three young girls (Qian Wang, Mei Yan and Ne Kuo) walking to school, saw five strange beings crossing a road.  The beings stopped to look at them.   The girls said that the beings seemed to have a ghost-like form and they emitted a pulsating glow.  The beings started at them for a minute and then moved away.  The girls said they felt “happy and calm” after seeing the beings.

The girls described the beings similar to this:

– FUYUAN.  A truck driver (Yan Du) pulled over to the side of the road to sleep and was awakened by a shaking of his truck.  He screamed when he realized his truck was in the air.  He looked down and saw “purplish, glowing beings” holding up the truck and shaking it.  He felt for sure that was going to die and then suddenly, the truck was put down on the road and the “beings” disappeared.

– YUTI – Two workers (Yan Tsih, and Andrew Yuo) at a grain mill took a smoke break and noticed strange lights moving through a nearby forest.  They walked closer to have a look and – were knocked out cold.  They woke up two hours later, lying on a soft bed of grass.  They felt “renewed and alive” – but they had lost their jobs.

“Strange” alien beings have been spotted in Guangnan, Mengzi, Luxi, near Erahi Lake, Mainri Snow Mountain and the Mekong River.   Many are talking about the sightings:

Dr. John Malley, the leader of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials is in China monitoring the situation.  “The Gootans are here.  That is clear.  They have not, yet, attacked any citizens and we are hoping that remains the case.”  Dr. Malley is joined by his team, including Banesh Bannerjee, the world’s leading extraterrestrial expert and an alien doctor, Dr. Kelly McManus, who specializes in extraterrestrial medicine.

When asked why the Gootans have come, Malley said, “some speculated that they have come for our gold, or that they feel that humans are abusing the planet and want to take over, some speculate that they are here to do research on humans, others feel that they want to teach us, and there are some that believe they just want to destroy us.”

The area around Kangean Island in the Bali Sea has not been seen again.  “The ship could be anywhere,” said Malley.  “It will turn up soon.”

As always, WWN will continue following this developing story…  and please report any Gootan sightings in the comments section.

This Chinese pig won’t let anything stop him.

Check out the YouTube video below. According to the description (as translated by Google Translate), this hog was reportedly born in July without any hind legs, but nonetheless learned to walk.

Nearby Chinese villagers call it “strong pig.” And we think it’s fair to say he is quite athletic, as he carries all 66 pounds of his own body weight over its head.

Is his talent enough to keep him from becoming bacon?  Well, he has a leg up on the other pigs.    This guy is a master at handstands.

A villager in the town  told WWN via Skype that the pig will definitely NOT be slaughtered. “This pig has already become a symbol of the strong Chinese spirit,” the villager told WWN.  “This pig show how strong Chinese people and animals are.  We much stronger than Americans.  If this were American pig, it would be in the corner whining and moaning about how bad the world has been to him.  Not in China.  In China we are fighters.  We overcome anything.”

Well, there you have it.   It is the Year of the Disabled Pig in China.

And here’s the amazing video:

I’m madder than a Chinaman in a driver’s ed class about China taking over the world, because they’re not  going to take this Yankee to the cleaners.

Get real, folks!  China has been bailing out everyone since 2008 and they own just about all of United States of America.  I, for one, don’t like it one red bit!  The Chinese are good for getting barbecue sauce out of my pants crotch, and that’s about it.

We don’t need them over here taking away our forks!

I’m sick of buying things that say “Made In China.” I want all Americans to start buying things that say “Made in Ohio” or “Made in Texas”  or “Made in Bayonne.”   We don’t need to buy any more junk from China that usually falls apart within a week.  Either that or they poison our children with that paint they put on everything.

And we definitely don’t need any more fortune cookies!   My lucky number isn’t 8!

Those Chinese leaders think they’re pulling a fast one over the U.S.  Well, the Teleprompter Kid better wake up and give the Chinese a chop-chop to their wontons!

Those Chinese loan sharks think we’re a bunch of pansy pandas over here, but if they try to step on ol’ Ed Anger’s lawn they’re going to get a blast of dragon fire from my mouth.

Let’s face it, folks, we have to stop buying things made in China!  They don’t play fair, so we shouldn’t play fair.  Most of their stuff is made by five-year-old kids chained to tables, who are only fed monkey brains once a day.

Then they come to the fruited plains and insult Uncle Sam!  The Chinese went to the White House and had that piano player, Lang Lang, play an anti-American song.  I’d like to give Lang Lang a little Bang Bang, send him back to the rickshaw he was born in.

I’m sick of China!!!

I’m calling on all red-blooded Americans to throw their Chinese made products into the nearest American dumpster.  2011 is the Chinese Year of the Rabbit.  I’m hereby changing it to the Year of the Eagle – the American Eagle.

So throw out all your Chinese goods!   Order pizza instead!

Confucius says:  Listen to Ed Anger.   “He knows which way the egg rolls!”

ROME – Italy is on the brink of financial ruin, so China has made an offer to buy Italy.

An embattled prime minister struggling to hold the government together. Rocketing public debt. An economy on the brink of collapse.   What are the Italians to do?

Become Chinese.

Italy is in dire political and fiscal shape.   The government of Silvio Berlusconi is collapsing as he continues clinging to power.  Italy is third largest member of the Eurozone.  It is weighed down with a runway public debt of $2.6 trillion, a figure more than 120 percent of GDP, Italy has indulged in a massive borrowing spree.

But China has come to Italy’s rescue!

They have made an offer to buy Italy (for 50 cents on the dollar).  Italy will become a colony of China and will be renamed Chitaly.  Pasta will be renamed “noodles.”

The Chinese plan on building a “great wall” between Rome and Vatican City – so the “Catholics don’t get out.”

The Chinese also plan on selling Sicily to Libya – some say they want to just give it away.

Chinese leaders said they will not tolerate the mafia in their colony and will be sending the Chinese Triad in to “clean things up.”

Other than that – and the fact that “monkey brains” will now be served in all Italian restaurants – everything else will remain the same in old “Italy.”

Book your first tour of Chitaly now!

BEIJING – Obama Fried Chicken is the hottest new franchise in China.

Obama is giving Colonel Sanders a run for his money.  He has partnered with some China’s businessmen to open Obama Fried Chicken all across China.

Hope and Chicken.

Hundreds of OFC restaurants are opening all  across China.  And the Chinese are lovin’ it!   There’s lines out the door of franchises in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong.

The logo for OFC shows the President dressed in the Colonel’s Saunders clothes.

The catchphrase for OFC is “We’re so cool, aren’t we?”:

Obama Fried Chicken was started as a response to the U.S. filing a complaint with the World Trade Organization about Chinese tariffs on American chicken exports.  Chinese and Americans were all surprised that Obama, the sitting President of the United States, decided to open these restaurants despite the  tariffs and despite how bad this all looks.

The tariffs affect an industry that employs about 300,000 people and range from 50 to 100 per cent, which means some Chinese importers paid as much as twice the price for American chicken.

The Chinese seem to now have an Obama-chicken obsession.

Earlier this year in Hong Kong, an Obama look alike was employed to advertize OFC.  And kids all across China are chanting – “Hope and Chicken. Hope and Chicken!”

There are, of course, New York versions that caused quite a stir.There is one in Harlem and one in Brooklyn.

Some people have complained the name plays into old racial stereotypes.  Sort of like this:

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BEIJING – China is planning to fire missiles at the United States.

A retired Chinese general  revealed that his country is planning a surprise missile attack on the United States. The public comment of Xu Guangyu came in response to WikiLeaks revelations that last year Washington had warned its allies beforehand of China’s test of a missile interceptor.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, in a classified cable sent last January 9th, instructed American embassies in Australia, Britain, Canada, and New Zealand to notify those countries of upcoming Chinese launches. She also warned of missile attacks on American cities.

The cable included details of the launch sites, the targets, the models of the missiles, the purpose of the launches and the launch dates.

Xu says the primary targets for the Chinese missiles: Los Angeles, San Francisco and Newark, New Jersey.  He  said that Chinese missiles are “hot,” pointed at the U.S. and ready to launch at a moment’s notice.

The release of the secret Chinese cables has caused an outcry within Chinese spy circles.  “Heads will roll,” said an anonymous Beijing official.

Xu, who is now in hiding, said that “China can no longer keep secret its plans to attack America.  China can, and will, launch a surprise attack on the US, sometime in the next 12 months.”

Xu said that Chinese military officials feel that America is vulnerable right now and will embark on “neutralizing” America  with a preemptive barrage of nuclear-tipped missiles.

Americans should not be surprised.  There has been a series of belligerent comments from China’s generals, admirals, and colonels, some talking about war with the US in the near future.

Vice President Joe Biden was in China in the last few weeks and actually visited the missile sites and could see for himself that they were pointed at the United States.  But Biden brushed off the concerns of American military officers.  “So they shoot a few  missiles at us, big deal.  They still make great soup.”

The Obama Administration isn’t concerned either.  “The targets are on the west coast, so Washington D.C. is safe,” said White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney.

SHANGHAI – A gigantic ball of light appeared over two major Chinese cities.  NASA has confirmed it to be an alien spaceship.

The ongoing alien invasion continues.

On the night of August 20th, numerous people and pilots in both Beijing and Shanghai reported seeing a strange ball of light that grew bigger and bigger over the cities’ skies.

The sighting  has created a stir on Chinese web sites, and it has been dubbed “The Super UFO.”

Several pilots were mid-air at the time and reported seeing a huge white ball flying at an altitude of 25,000 feet.  One pilot, Donald Kee of Dragon Air, said it seemed to be a hundred times larger than the moon. The phenomenon was visible for 20 minutes and was reported to the East China Air Traffic Control Bureau. As usual, no official explanation for this sighting has been given by the Chinese Government.

However, NASA evaluated the data and sent it over to the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials.  Dr. John Malley was still in Nepal examining evidence of the alien base, but Dr. Dani Montano of the U.N. Panel spoke to WWN.

“The Chinese believe that a Super UFO will appear in 2012 and that will signify the end of the world, so there is a segment of the Chinese population that is panicked about this sighting.  But, we have confirmed that the sighting was just another spaceship from Planet Gootan, a spaceship  that we have seen coming in an out of the Himalayas before.  It’s not the end of the world, it’s simply part of the alien invasion.  The Gootans are peaceful.”

This fact does not calm the Chinese citizens that saw the Super UFO.  “I’m terrified, what does this mean?  2012 must be the end. It must,” said a panicked, Eva Ho, in Shanghai.  It’s a sentiment shared by many Chinese.  The Chinese government refuses to acknowledge the Super UFO and will not discuss anything about it – not even the reaction of Chinese citizens.

The Super UFO was also spotted over Wuhan City and Xiamen.

BEIJING  – VP Joe Biden complimented the Chinese on their one-child policy and said  “sure would love to get that going in America.”

Vice-President Joe Biden is in China trying to revive the financial image of the United States after a first-ever downgrade in its financial rating. In attempting to explain some of the financial concerns the U.S. faces.  In a public speech Biden told the Chinese “look, I know we’re a little late on our payments but we’ve hit a patch of bad luck, can you give us a few more  years?”

The answer from the Chinese:  no.

But what got the most attention in his speech (aside from his inappropriate jokes about Chinese drivers) , Biden said that he thought the one-child policy, instituted by the Communist government in the late 1970s to stem rising population was “a dandy.”   Biden said, “we need something like that in America.  I’m going to talk to the President see if we can get that done.  Good way to save our planet.”

The Chinese government compels couples in urban areas to have just one child and limits couples in rural areas to two children if the first child is a girl, as girls are seen as having lesser value than boys.

The Vice President  told the Chinese he wanted  “to build bridges and dig tunnels” with the Chinese.   And he  thought maybe the China could build an extension to their Great Wall that could reach America.  “That would something, huh guys?”  He told his befuddled audience.

Biden,  a Catholic, told U.S. reporters that he supported the Chinese policy of forced sterilizations and abortions because he felt everyone had to “do their part to save the planet.”

After his speech Biden told the Chinese, “let’s get some takeout!  You guys are the best at that.  Kung pow!!”

Biden later walked back his remarks saying that the one-child policy may cause financial problems for China because   the growing number of people retiring who will need government support to make ends meet will be supporter by a smaller population of younger workers able to take care of those obligations.   Biden then said, if that happens, the Chinese might want to consider printing money.  “That always works,” he said.

House Speaker John Boehner issued a statement responding to Biden’s comments:

“I’m deeply troubled by the comments reportedly made by the Vice President yesterday regarding China’s reprehensible one-child policy, which has resulted in forced sterilizations and coerced abortions and should not be condoned by any American official.  I hope and trust that the Vice President didn’t actually say what has been reported, and that a correction or clarification from the White House will be forthcoming.”

Hu Jingtao  told Biden that he Chinese Communist Party boasts that it has “prevented” 400 million births through the One Child Policy.   But Biden wasn’t listening, he was busy looking for the tunnel that leads to America.  “I was told as a kid in Maryland that if I dug deep enough I would get to China.  So, there’s got to be a tunnel around here.”

He was told, emphatically, that the Chinese do not have a tunnel to America.  Biden wasn’t listening however, he was in a karaoke bar singing, “China Girl” and “American Woman” – over and over again.  “Ain’t I good?”

The Chinese also had to step in when Biden was learning archery from a “samurai.”   Biden  tried  to shoot his teacher:

And today, Biden challenge a sumo wrestler to a match: