Scientists were startled to discover that human brains, for some unknown reason, are shrinking!

BEIJING, China – Chimpanzees are now being used for outsourced technical support.

NIGERIA – Blind mom Heather Hilton was leaving the hospital with her newborn son when hooligans kidnapped the boy, and sent her home with a baby chimpanzee!

I’m madder than a chimp without his Xanax about that monkey cartoon!

STAMFORD, CT – Travis the chimp was shot dead after brutally attacking a human, and now his family is seeking comfort and advice from the world’s only PhD Ape.