HOLLYWOOD -  Sources close to Dancing With The Stars confirm… Chaz Bono is pregnant!

Dancing with the Stars contestant, Chaz Bono, 42, and his longtime girlfriend, Jennifer Elia, are expecting a baby boy.  Sources inside DWTS say that Chaz Bono is “with baby.”

Many find it hard to believe because  Chaz Bono had gender reassignment surgery two years ago.  Well, apparently he didn’t have “everything” done and Chaz and his girlfriend felt that Chaz was built to handle a baby better.  “He still has child-bearing hips,” said one DWTS producer.

The grandmother-to-be, Cher, was ecstatic.  “I support Chaz a thousand percent in everything he does.  I thought it was a little crazy that she underwent the change, but that’s what he wanted and so be it.  But, now with a baby on it’s way… I’m thrilled.  But don’t ever call me grandma.”

Chaz told acquaintances that he has  already picked out a name for the son:  Sonny.

So, if you’re playing along at home – Sonny and Cher met, had a daughter Chastity, Sonny and Cher got divorced, Chastity announced she was a lesbian, then Sonny skied into a tree and died, Chastity announced that she wanted to get a sex change operation, she did so, he announced that she was no longer a lesbian, he got picked for Dancing With The Stars, and is now pregnant.  And a new Sonny Bono will be born!

Just your typical American family.

The new season of Dancing with the Stars debuted last night and there is still controversy swirling over the inclusion of Chaz.

Dr. Keith Ablow, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, is still trying to tell parents not to let their kids watch Bono on the show since it might influence them to question their own gender identity.

This is odd, because there are rumors that Dr. Ablow himself wants to get a sex change operation.  “He always thinks of himself as Krissy, not Keith,” said a friend close to Ablow’s plumber.  “He often says he wants to leave Tufts and become a ballerina.”

Chaz Bono’s performance on Monday night’s Dancing with the Stars surprised judges, Bono, 42, admitted to PEOPLE he was “interested to hear what Cher thought because she thought I was not going to be able to do this.”  And what did Mama think?  She loved it!

In a video montage entitled Dancing with the Stars: Meet Season 13′s Competitors, Bono said “My family hasn’t seen this side of me before.”  And soon they’re going to see another side of him, too.  The pregnant side.

“I was nervous going into it, but I was also excited,” Bono says. “I think it went pretty well. There were certain little things that I messed up or didn’t do, but it was good and it was fun. I had a good time doing it.”

Chaz wowed the studio audience at DWTS.   Multiple standing ovations. Las Vegas oddsmakers say that Bono is 3:1 favorite to win this year’s competition.    Odds are 50:1 that he has the baby before the competition ends.

Place your bets…  Is he showing?

LOS ANGELES – Sonny Bono has been reincarnated as a dog that can read!

Sonny the Wonder Dog is a 28 year old (7 human years) dog whose owner has taught him how to read. In a video published on Sonny’s Youtube page, Sonny demonstrates his ability to answer questions by pointing to cards with the correct answers written on them. Sonny correctly answers questions such as “What’s your name?” and “What’s more fun?” where he has to choose between work and play. Of course he chooses play.

There is one answer to a question at the end of the film that is somewhat intriguing. When posed with the question “What are you?” Sonny points to the index card that reads person, as apposed to dog. His owner proceeds to praise Sonny exclaiming, “You’re a person. You’re not a doggy. You’re a person.”

The final question raised many flags for the staff at the Center for Reincarnation and Afterlife Preservation (CRAP) in Phoenix, AZ. Researchers were initially drawn to Sonny due to the fact that he could read.

“We have seen many other animals in the past that have had advanced capabilities, who we later discovered to be people reincarnated from the past. But we really hit the jackpot with this one. No one thought that we would find entertainment great Sonny Bono trapped inside this little bundle of fur,” said Randy Longfellow, lab tech at CRAP.

News of the discovery has ripple through the entertainment industry with every network vying for a shot at bringing Sonny back to primetime. Sources say that currently the UPN has the upper hand in a deal with Sonny’s owner. If everything goes as planned we should see his new show, The Sonny with Hair Comedy Hour this fall on the UPN. No word as to whether or not if his ex-wife Cher will be involved.

LAS VEGAS, NV – Returning for a one night performance, magicians Siegfried and Roy took to the stage to dazzle audiences one last time.  For their final illusion, they made longtime rival Cher disappear.

At a special charity event, Siegfried and Roy performed again for the first time since Roy was injured by one of their signature white tigers six years ago.  For their final trick, the duo presented an empty cage, held a curtain over it for a moment, then removed it to reveal a white tiger.  They then replaced the curtain briefly, and removed it to reveal a confused and visibly disturbed Cher in the cage with the tiger.

Witnesses from the front rows could hear the Academy Award winning singer/actress say, “What…  Where am I?  What’s going on?”  Her speech and movements suggested she may have been drugged.

Raising the curtain one final time, the illusionists removed it to reveal an empty cage.  Cher’s whereabouts at this time are still unknown.

A heated rivalry has existed between the singer and the magicians for decades.  Though not officially documented, the rift is believed to have originated when Cher accepted her Academy Award in an outfit she stole from the German magicians.  Since then they have competed with increasingly flamboyant outfits, extravagant spectacle in their shows, and sheer volume of sequins on stage at any given time.  Her recent 200-show deal at Caesar’s Palace was seen as the final straw.

When news got around Las Vegas that the magicians had made Cher vanish, her most devoted fans went into an uproar.  Dozens of drag queens and Cher impersonators rushed to the theater.  Security guards were quickly trampled under stiletto heels in a violent frenzy of wigs and black fishnets.  However, the magicians had already left the building.

No charges have been filed yet for Cher’s apparent kidnapping.

Siegfried and Roy were last seen riding into the sunset on their white tiger, followed closely by a legion of angry drag queens.