NEW YORK – Oprah Winfrey to check into celebrity rehab for food addiction.

Oprah Winfrey will announce in her soon to air interview with Piers Morgan that she will be entering a celebrity rehabilitation program for stars with food addictions to cope with a 13+ year addition.

Winfrey has always battled with her weight and has never been afraid to discuss it publicly. But until now, no one had ever realized that her struggle was to the level of addiction. The dependency began in 1998 when the movie adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize-wining novel “Beloved” by Toni Morrison flopped in the box office. The reason for the flop, well as bad luck would have it, the movie opened concurrently with the horror film, “Bride of Chucky”. And we all know that the public prefers blood and guts over sadness and depression.

Winfrey explains in the interview that this was the turning point in her life where food became a source for not only physical survival, but mental as well. She explains that when she received news of the box office disaster that she ordered her chef to make some Mac n’ Cheese to help her cope.

When Morgan asked her exactly how much the chef made, Winfrey exclaimed in her classic shouting tone “About 30 pounds worth!”

In addition to her need for Mac n’ Cheese, Winfrey also confessed to a love for Hot Pockets and Pizza Rolls.

More of the media mogul’s misgivings and mishaps will be revealed on “Piers Morgan Tonight,” premiering on CNN Monday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Her stint in rehab should not effect her new network OWN (Oprah Winfrey network).

LOS ANGELES, CA – PhD Ape was called in by VH1 to host a new celebrity rehab show.

PhD Ape, the world’s smartest primate, was asked to help the overwhelmed Dr. Drew Leary give psychological treatment to addicted celebrities.

Dr. Drew, who has his own celebrity rehabilitation show, was attacked by Gary Busey during a standard therapy session last week.  Busey was on the verge of a breakthrough when he suddenly pounced on Dr. Drew pinning him to the floor.  Cameras continued to roll as Gary Busey held down the doctor for 20 minutes, slapping him in the face while providing motivational “Busey-isms.”   

Producers saw the need for a world class psychotherapist who also weighs 350 lbs and could rip a phonebook in half.  PhD Ape was very hesitant at first but agreed to come in and film the pilot episode. 

A pilot was taped in Los Angeles earlier this week.  Filming included several hours of intense therapy, requiring several boxes of tissues, three tranquilizer darts and two ice cream sundaes.  Eventually cameras caught the tear-filled breakthrough they were waiting for wherein Busey apologized to Dr. Drew and poured out his remaining bottles of alcohol.     

When asked if his show had been picked up, PhD Ape responded, “Yes, the executives were interested but I turned down their offer.  Right now I would rather focus my energies on a more traditional practice.”

Gary Busey was last seen towing a cannon towards the Mexican border.