FRANCE – Carla Bruni is back in the news. WWN first revealed that Bruni was immortal and was far beyond your mere first lady. Stay-tuned as more will follow tomorrow!

Recent findings reveal that French First Lady Carla Bruni has been alive since at least the early Hellenic Period. Dr. Andrei Cyriakis has uncovered artifacts off the coast of Sicily dating back to 300 BC which bear an unmistakable resemblance to the model/singer.

Dr. Cyriakis’ find would help explain several events since Bruni began her courtship with French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy.

Last February a bus full of schoolchildren were saved from an avalanche near Lyon by what witnesses described as “a beautiful angel” wearing a designer Christian Dior dress similar to the one Bruni wore that evening to dinner with the Queen of Jordan.

Since her arrival in New York for the UN General Assembly, reports of street crime have dropped 83%. A woman matching Bruni’s description was seen flying away from an explosion at an abandoned warehouse in Queens shortly before her husband’s reception with the Eli Wiesel Humanitarian Foundation.

For reasons yet unknown Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was seen staring at Mrs. Bruni this morning at the United Nations building with clenched fists saying “Next time. Next time…”

Exactly how old she is or where she came from remain a mystery, but the scientific community and Weekly World News will keep searching for the truth.

LONDON – Michelle Obama was in the news again this week for an unusual ensemble she wore to Westminster Abbey with her daughters in London. The outfit, while colorful and interesting, was a bold step for the First Lady who is most often noticed for her fashion choices.

French First Lady and former supermodel Carla Bruni was quoted in Le Monde as saying, “If she wants to put looking good aside in favor of focusing on time with her daughters, I can respect that.  I wish I had the courage to go out in public looking like that.”

Incensed, Michelle Obama immediately challenged Carla Bruni to a Walk-Off.

Both First Ladies agreed to compete in a best of five Walk-Off to see who could wear their clothes best.  A complete media blackout was maintained as this was a non-UN sanctioned event.

Michelle Obama, a lawyer by trade, wrote out the agreement stating they would follow old-school rules.  Also included was a clause stating that Bruni, a well documented immortal, could use none of her mystic powers during the competition.  The document was signed and Michelle Obama utilized her sleeveless summer dress by flexing her guns to intimidate the French head of state.  Mrs. Bruni showed only indifference before flying to her dressing room.

Heidi Klum, Yves Saint Laurent, and David Bowie were tapped to be judges.  Tim Gunn, who happened to be there at the time, was allowed to officiate.  The two powerhouses of politics and fashion went head to head in their best five outfits to a select crowd of London’s elite.

The audience was stunned at the elegance and grace both women brought to the runway.  Summer, winter, and formal fashions showed refined taste, and the poise of competing world leaders.  In the final round Michelle Obama pulled into the lead with a fashion forward Jackie-O inspired ensemble.  Carla Bruni attempted to come back with a gold Roman-inspired evening gown.  However her sheer top clearly violated the international nipple rules.  David Bowie disqualified her immediately.

Impressed by each others poise and abilities Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Bruni have since made amends.  The two remain Facebook friends and most political scientists consider them strong “frenemies”.