CAMDEN – The dazzling display of aurora light that happens every year over New Jersey – amazed skywatchers once again!

Every October, skywatchers travel from all over North America, Canada and Sweden and come to New Jersey to catch the most amazing display of aurora light.  And this year was no different.  ”It was real cool,” said Jersey housewife, Teresa Giudice.  ”I love lights and sky and color.  So, yeah it was nice.  Jersey is the best.”

Monday night (Oct. 24), the Jersey sky was painted with with striking green and even rare red hues.

The aurora display, also known as the northern lights, or the Jersey Lights, was touched off by a wave charged particles unleashed by a massive sun storm on Saturday, which took two days to reach Earth, according to the Space Weather Prediction Center operated by the National Weather Service and NOAA.

“These were the most vibrant I’ve ever seen,”  New Jersey skywatcher Sal Fiori of  Bayonne told WWN. “I was also able to see red with my naked eye, which I’ve never seen before either.  It blew my freakin’ mind.”

Governor Chris Christie missed the event because he was judging a cannoli eating contest in Sea Girt.  But he heard that it was beautiful.  ”Yeah, everything is beautiful in Jersey.   And no, I’m not running for President.  But maybe I am.”

Pulitzer Prize winning photographer Susan Begley of Morristown  expected a good aurora light show, but was surprised by the sheer brilliance of Monday night’s light show.

“I’d taken a few pics, went back to the car to change lenses, and when I looked up the sky was on fire,” Begley said. “To the north there was this huge curtain that sent beams overhead to a corona in which I had to turn to the south to photograph. That’s when I noticed the reds and pinks starting to happen. From there the lights were every which direction. It was hands down the best Jersey Lights I’ve ever seen.  I think I saw a double rainbow, too.”

“Hands down the most amazing northern lights display that I have ever witnessed,” said Chuck Bench of Red Bank. “It was like I was looking at heaven.”  Chuck’s wife later told WW that Chuck was asleep on the couch during the Jersey Lights.  ”He’s a slob,” she said.

There’s still time to catch some of this year’s Jersey Lights.   They should be visible for the rest of the month.

LONDON -  Pippa has two aggressive suitors:  banker Alex Loudon and Prince Harry.  Who will win her heart?

Pippa Middleton, the youngster sister of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton, has been seen in the last week with both r Alex Loudon, the city banker and former cricketer (he accompanied Pippa Middleton to the Royal Wedding in April 2011) and Prince Harry, who has told Royal insiders that he will fight for Pippa’s heart.

Speculation that Pippa had split from Alex intensified last month after she was spotted with Prince Harry at The Troubador pub in Chelsea.  BA friend of Middleton is quoted as saying, “It is common knowledge in their close circle of friends that Pippa and Alex have recently split up”.

But sources close to Pippa say that she never split from Alex. “She’s seeing Alex and she’s also spending time with Harry.  She’s confused.  She’s madly in love with  them both.”

Loudon, a promising cricketer who was once selected for England, announced his retirement from the game in 2007, enrolling at the London Business School one year later. The couple’s relationship appears to have become strained under the intense media interest in Pippa following her appearance as maid-of-honour at the Royal Wedding.

But, after the Royal Wedding Pippa reportedly “hooked up” with Harry during a stay at Buckingham Palace.  They two were seen together at clubs throughout London.  Prince Harry was “completely smitten,” according to one  bartender that served them in Camden.

Prince Harry recently did a “Couples Triathalon” with Pippa:

There’s even a third suitor vying for Pippa’s hand:   her old college friend George Percy, the son of the Duke of Northumberland.

Following her graduation from the University of Edinburgh, Pippa Middleton currently works as an event planner, while also helping out with her parent’s online party website and editing the web-magazine ‘Party Times’.

Prince Harry told WWN that “Alex has nothing on me.  He might be good at cricket, but he’s got nothing on me.  I love Pippa and I hope she will become my bride in the near future.

But Alex isn’t going to give up on Pippa and let “the Royal redhead” take her away from me.  “He’s lost the plot if he thinks he will take Pippa away from me.   She belongs with me.  I am the only man that can make her happy.”

When asked by WWN if he would fight the Prince in a cage match (sponsored by WWN), Alex immediately responded. “Yes, he won’t last five seconds.”   Prince Harry has yet to respond to the catch match, “Fight For Pippa” but sources close to him says he likes the idea and will welcome the chance to put Alex in his place.

Royal watchers say Pippa is distraught because she loves both men equally.  Though, she looked at ease last week:

Meanwhile, there’s another suitor for Pippa.  A man who thinks she’s a goddess:

LONDON – Kate Middleton’s phone has been hacked by the News of the World tabloid.

Though the messages haven’t revealed anything scandalous, lawyers for the royal family are expected to file a lawsuit against the British paper tomorrow morning.

According to Gerard Whitley, attorney for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, the recently hacked voicemail messages were of a logistical nature regarding their July trip to North America.

A source within Buckingham Palace revealed that most of the messages dealt with the Duchess of Cambridge’s wardrobe. “She had a lot of designers from L.A. and Canada calling, wanting her to wear their pieces. There was one message confirming the shipment of the purple dress Kate wore in Ottawa on Canada Day. A brilliant choice, coupled with that lovely maple leaf pin. Beyond brilliant, really.”

The News of the World has been under scrutiny for years as a result of its practice of hacking into the phone messages of celebrities and politicians. There are currently a number of other well-known figures suing the paper.

WASHINGTON – U.S. to develop giant reflective cones to keep the sun up 24/7.

In the last few decades much debate has been given to the notion as to whether or not the ritual of Daylight Savings Time has any value to our contemporary culture.

The act of turning ones clock back an hour was developed during revolutionary times in the U.S. in order to increase the amount of usable sunlight for outdoor work.

Modern day advocates feel that the turning back of time aids in energy consumption and that the extra hour of sun puts a smile on everyone’s face. According to the U.S. Federal Government, daylight savings time is a win, win for everyone.

Rep. Edward J. Markey, Member of the House Natural Resources Committee, said, “We can’t put a price on the happiness an extra hour of sunshine can bring, but we can count the savings. Government analysis has proven that extra sunshine provides more than just smiles.

Daylight Saving Time saves consumers money and also curbs the nation’s energy consumption, which means lower energy bills, less pollution and more reasons to enjoy the outdoors”

And Rep. Fred Upton, Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, said, “Between energy conservation, lower bills and fewer traffic accidents, the benefits of extending Daylight Saving Time are many – not to mention the additional hour of sunshine in the evening will help chase away the winter blues.”

But with energy costs continue to rise there has been talk of a way to better utilize the concept of Daylight Savings Time. As a result, the U.S. has begun to develop a plan to launch enormous reflective cones into outer space in order to capture the rays of the sun and reflect them back to the country 24hrs a day in a measure that is being called “It’s Always Sunny in America”.

Markey and Upton who are co-chairing the committee for “It’s Always Sunny in America” have determined that the program could result in total electrical savings of 18.4 tera Watt-hour. This savings represents the reduction of oil usage by 36.4 million barrels and electricity saving in excess of $1 billion.

Both Mexico and Canada are voicing concerns about how this project could affect their cultures. Mexico has voiced concerns about maintaining their tradition of the siesta, an afternoon nap. While Canada is just more concerned about getting a good nights sleep.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Justin Bieber weighs in on US health care and abortion.

In his 16 years of existence the pop star, Justin Bieber has amassed a vast deal of knowledge regarding the finer inner workings of U.S. health care and healthcare reform. So much in fact that U.S. Representative, Christopher Murphy, D-CT had taken to getting advice from the music icon and political mastermind.

“The Biebs and I had been going back and forth for a while regarding how to deal with issues revolving around the U.S. health care system. He continually tried to push a Canadian style system of social health care. But I had to keep reminding him that socialism does not fly in the U.S.…Canadians,” said Murphy as he shook his head in a recent interview.

However, recently a rift has developed between the Biebs and Representative Murphy when the Biebs offered up his opinion of the U.S. health care system in a recent interview, calling it “evil” for placing immense amounts of medical debt on those who need help the most. In addition to his views on U.S. health care, the Biebs also announced his feelings on abortion.

“I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.” said Justin.

It is not hard to understand the Biebs’ position, considering that just 16 years ago the Biebs almost suffered the same fate himself. Justin revealed in the same interview that his mother, who at the time of his birth was only 17 years old, had considered aborting him until she received a sign from God that changed her mind.

Bieber’s statements came as a complete shock to Murphy. Shortly after the news broke, Murphy quickly tweeted, “Oh wait … just heard what Biebs said about abortion. Ugh”

The end of the relationship between the Biebs and Murphy may be a blessing in disguise for the Connecticut Representative, as many have questioned the representative’s tactics.

“Which voters are Chris Murphy trying to reach now, 14-year-old girls?” said Chris Healy, Connecticut Republican Party Chairman, “It’s amazing what some politicians will do to try to tell the pubic, ‘Hey, I’m cool, I’m paying attention to the zeitgeist.’ It’s kind of funny how it blows up in your face.”

LOS ANGELES, CA – a disgruntled cock fighter goes on a killing rampage.

Randy “Ruthless” Rooster is a long time contender in the sport of cock fighting. He has fought in over 125 matches, an unheard of number of battles in a sport where most only last a dozen bouts before they reach their bloody end. But recently after a long day of fighting cocks in southern California, something finally snapped in the veteran fighter sending him into a blood filled homicidal rampage.

His first victim was nearby spectator, Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, a regular to the matches who had come to the fights that day in hopes of winning big in the betting pool. Ochoa received one quick slash to his Achilles tendon, swiftly bringing him to the ground. After laying out Ochoa, Ruthless quickly went for the jugular, sealing Ochoa’s fate in a matter of seconds.

Evading capture after the gruesome murder, Ruthless continued on his violent killing spree heading south for Mexico, all along the way taking the lives of a local librarian, a school crossing guard, and a Taco Bell employee.

The National Guard was summoned to stop the ferocious fowl but in every attempt Ruthless was able to avoid capture. Not knowing what else to do, the National Guard had no other choice but to contact Interpol to get Superchicken to save the day.

Ruthless was finally apprehended by Superchicken in Los Angeles while Ruthless was attempting to attack a bus of tourists taking the famous Star Line Tours – Movie Stars’ Homes Tour. The attack took place just outside of, beef cake and former comedian, Carrot Top’s previous home where the funny looking guy was finishing packing up his things before completing his move to Canada. Lucky for Superhicken, Carrot Top was in the area as he played a key role in the capture of Ruthless.

“It was like something out of COPS except with a bunch of chickens,” said Herman Sanchez, a gardener who witnessed the capture, “like outta nowhere I see these two birds getting into it. Then in the blink of an eye, I see Carrot Top with his hands around the neck of one of the birds. That Carrot Top, he really knows how to choke the chicken.”

While being taken into custody by the LAPD, Ruthless was heard saying “bawk bawk, bawk, cock a doodle doo.” Super chicken was kind enough to translate this for us. “I had enough of the fighting. I simply couldn’t take it any more; I just cracked, like an egg.” As he was taken into the station a single tear was spotted rolling down Ruthless’s beak.

TUSCON, AZ- Mexican drug cartels must resort to primitive tactics to get drugs across the US border.

Drug dealers have used underground tunnels, human mules, and even the corpses of dead animals as methods to transport drugs into the United States but few seem to get past the ever elusive DEA. Now, the Mexican drug cartels are at their wit’s end.

With all the previous tactics proving to be useless, the drug dealers have decided to take a more primitive approach to drug smuggling. They are now using catapults to lob large sacks of marijuana and cocaine over the International Border fence.

Through a closed circuit surveillance system, National Guard troops working at the Nacho Naco Border Patrol Station have recently observed several people in ponchos and sombreros attempting to lob medium to large size bundles over the wall by way of catapult.

“Prior to the construction and attempted use of the catapult, we’ve observed them trying to throw the bundles, basketball style, over the wall. This is rather amusing as the wall is over 21 feet tall and 6 feet thick,” said Lieutenant Peters, “The best part is when they try to do layups. They almost always do face plants directly against the wall when they try this. It has been really entertaining to watch.”

Lieutenant Peters continued by explaining that these dopey drug dealers have been at it for months now and have been unsuccessful with all of their attempts to clear the wall. Some privates at the Naco Station have even taken to making microwave popcorn and watching the comedy fest during their breaks.

“This is one of the best reality shows out there right now. The only thing better is The Jersey Shore,” said Private Benjamin, “I’m really rooting for them with the catapult idea. I hope they make it this time. Granted if they do, we’ll have to detain them but still you gotta root for ‘em.”

Upon hearing about the closed circuit footage, Fox has decided to quickly put together a reality TV show about the group of Mexicans who have been attempting to launch the drugs over the fence. With the US government in desperate need of income to bring down the national debt, Fox has been able to acquire the past three months of footage for “an awesome price”. Fox plans to air the show by the summer of 2011.

It has been rumored that Fox will hire Carrot Top to host the show pending his release by the Canadian government as he is now officially owned by Canada.

Read how this happened here.

“We really love that we now own Carrot Top,” said Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, “he is now regarded as a national treasure. Our people can really relate to his pasty white skin and the women love is muscular physique. It is going to take a lot for us to let him out of our grasp.”

NUNAVUT — The Arctic Fence that protects North America from frigid temperatures and brutal winds has collapsed!

Arctic meteorologists have released a report that explains the record-breaking snowfall and below average temperatures experienced all along the Eastern seaboard this winter. The Arctic Fence, which once protected the cold weather and held it in its place, is gone.

Dr. Madeleine Akumalik, who led the study, explained.

“We’re shocked, really. We went out to check on the fence, which is a translucent geothermal wall. It basically retains the cold weather and keeps it in the north. Our fears were verified by the satellite imagery. Last winter, we could see the Arctic Fence from space. This year, there isn’t even a shadow or a crack where it used to be. The only explanation is that it has collapsed into the Arctic Ocean.”

Dr. Akumalik continued, “We knew it was warmer, but we didn’t know it would be warmer forever. Our whole way of life has to change. No more ice fishing, no more ice trucking, no more polar bear hunting.”

The report is sending shock waves throughout North America.

According to The Nunavut News, the Arctic Fence typically keeps the extremely cold air in places like northeastern Canada and Greenland. But scientists have determined that this “weather wall” lost its strength in early December and sent a winter’s worth of bone-chilling temperatures directly south.

In the mean time, warmer temperatures have pushed north. Throughout the Canadian Territories, and even north of the Arctic Circle, temperatures in December ran at least 20 degrees above normal. Ice fishing and trade routes have been seriously disrupted.   Eskimos are losing their igloos at an alarming rate!

In Iqaluit, the capital of Nunavut, the annual  snowmobile parade had to be canceled. The locals are organizing and demanding action.

“We want our snow back!” cried Elisapie Aragutak during a demonstration in Iqaluit. “We need it! We depend on it! It’s not fair, America doesn’t even want the snow! We need the snow and the ice and the wind! Give it back!”

When asked for an explanation, Dr. Akumalik, one of the leading meteorologists in the Nunavut territory, further detailed this new weather reality.

“Ice reflects sunlight. We know that the Arctic has been losing ice for years. There is less ice so the Arctic Ocean is absorbing more heat in the summer. We’ve been getting stuck with warmer air.”

“This winter, our Canadian buffer zone, the protective layer known as the Arctic Fence, finally gave way and released all of the cold air behind its wall. This means it’s snowing in Boston and sunny on the Hudson Bay. It’s a drastic change for the territories, and for southern Canada and the States too. Nobody likes it. Especially not the polar bears.”

Does this mean Americans will all freeze to death?  Maybe… just maybe.

SEATTLE , WA – Amazon has come under fire again for its decision to carry yet another controversial book.

In recent news, the internet retail powerhouse was scrutinized for its decision to carry, The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover’s Code of Conduct, by Philip R. Greaves II. Now they are pushing the limits even farther with a new children’s book that has been penned by none other than one of the 20th century’s most notorious criminals, Charles Manson. Manson, now 76, has been incarcerated for the past 41 years for convincing his followers to commit murder in the famous Hinman, Tate, and LaBianca killings of the late 1960s.

The book titled, The Trials of Timmy Travis, is about a young 11 year old boy who is misunderstood by his peers and how he feels ostracized from the neighborhood kids. The story explores how Timmy copes with his loneliness and his many failed attempts to fit in. It chronicles Timmy’s life as he becomes the guru of a renegade group that develops its own ranch style community on the outskirts of his home town. Ultimately, the community flourishes and prospers bringing new hope into a downtrodden world.

Parents groups around the nation are outraged over the news and are calling for the immediate ban on the sale of the book, not only on Amazon but everywhere.

“How does a book like this even become published?” asked Susan Powell, founder of Stability, Togetherness and Family Unity (STFU), “Who in their right mind could have thought that a book like this, by such an awful man, was a good idea?”

In December of last year, Manson was found to have been making phone calls and sending text messages from prison. It has now been revealed that the communications were with Children’s Freedom Press (CFP), the British Columbia based independent publishing company that produced the controversial book. Evidently, Manson wrote the entire book through thousands of text messages sent to the publisher.

“We feel that this story will help children throughout the world to better understand how to deal with feelings of ostracization and ‘outsiderness’. We truly feel that the notoriety of the author will only aid in getting the message out faster,” explained CFP in a statement to the press, “We’re hoping that the book can help to create a dialogue between children and parents about the issues involving being different, fitting in and the bad feelings that can result from being shunned by peers.”

By now I’m sure that this book has already been pulled from the retailer’s website due to the controversy. But I cannot image that you won’t find it on the days to come throughout the listings of eBay and other internet auction sites.

WASHINGTON – US forced to sell Alaska in order to combat with the rising national debt.

The US has just announced that the national debt has reached an all time high, topping $14 trillion dollars, that’s approximately $45,300 for every person in the US. The national debt is a result of the US accumulating years upon years of financial obligations dating as far back as the days of George Washington. But since 2005 alone, the debt has nearly doubled.

In order to combat the continued rising debt, Congress has been put in the hot seat, being forced to make difficult decisions. It is faced with a few potential options. One, Congress can lift the legal debt limit to create a higher credit limit for the country; Two, dramatically cut spending to keep the government on track and prevent the debt from growing further; or Three, sell government owned properties.

After an intense debate on Capitol Hill, Congress decided to go with option number three and sell Alaska back to Russia. The US purchased Alaska from the Russian Empire back in 1867 for the now bargain rate of $7.2 million dollars.

Original Check from US purchase of Alaska

“The Russians offered to write us a personal check, but that was unacceptable to the terms of the deal,” said Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, “This is a COD kind of deal.”

The US stands to turn a hefty profit with the new sale price of $2.85 trillion.  This sale will dramatically reduce the debt, buying the US precious time to rework the budget and find a way to keep the rising debt at bay.

“We initially thought that leasing the state back to the Russians would be an option but we soon discovered that the cost to administer the lease would actually cause us to go further into debt,” explained Sen. Lisa Murkoski R-AK, “That is why we opted to sell it instead. We tried to sell Puerto Rico too but no one wanted it. We had several open houses but no bites, not a one.”

This decision has not been met without extreme outrage by the American public, especially by the citizens of Alaska.

“Just because Sara Palin is from Alaska does not mean that we should be treated like a second class state that can just be sold off on a whim,” said local Alaskan business owner, Bill Kumberlan, “this sale is going to make my life a nightmare, no one on my staff speaks Russian.”

It is unclear what other drastic measures Congress may need to take in order to deal with America’s enormous debt. But if Canada wants to make an offer on Vermont, we will gladly take it.  They’ve always wanted to succeed anyway.