PALO ALTO  – Facebook continues to deny rumors it is shutting down on July 15th of 2012.  WWN, however, has confirmed that it is true.

On January 9th, WWN’s ace reporter, J.B. Smitts, broke the international story that Facebook was going to close down on July 15th because Mark Zuckerberg wanted to return to a normal life.   The story caused a worldwide sensation, and J.B. Smitts has been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for breaking it.

READ WWN’s ORIGINAL FACEBOOK STORY

Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg has publicly denied the rumors, saying, “Facebook is not going to close down.  Not now, not ever.  We’re just getting started.”

David Ebersman, the CFO of Facebook, and the man working with Goldman Sachs on the new Facebook financing deal said, “many people feel that the deal with Goldman Sachs will lead to a change in Facebook or that we might shut down so the government won’t force us to go public.  All of those rumors are false.  We are going to be stronger than ever after July 15th.”

But WWN has spoken to insiders at Facebook who strongly contradict the public statements of the executive management team.

Sources inside Facebook tell us that the company is already making plans on how to handle the big shutdown.  “We can’t just turn it off on July 15th of 2012.  There will be a revolution,” said one insider.  “We have to prepare our users for the end of Facebook and offer them ways to keep their social networks alive.”

Zuckerberg maintains that one year is enough time for users to prepare for the demise of Facebook.  It also gives rival sites time to build up their user base.

There were rumors that Zuckerberg himself was going to appear on the Oscars or a the Super Bowl,  but Zuckerberg did not show up at either event.  New rumors are that Zuckerberg will make “an important announcement to the world” about the future of Facebook when he meets with President Obama in the White House on June 15th.

Meanwhile, there is panic all around the globe as Facebook users (and addicts) are frightened that they may lose their social networking community.  Top celebrities Tyra Banks, Mila Kunis, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber, Ashton Kutchter, Carrot Top, Meryl Streep, Danny Bonaduce and the Real Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta are all panicking about losing Facebook.  “I’m addicted to Facebook,” said Tyra Banks. “Without it, my life is over!”

An online petition was started just hours ago to help persuade Zuckerberg and Facebook to remain open.

SIGN THE “SAVE FACEBOOK” PETITION HERE.

The organizer of the “Please Do Not Shut Down Facebook Petition”, Fritz Barnkopf, said, “we hope to get a million or more signatures before the Oscars, so Mark Zuckerberg will reconsider his tragic decision.”

WWN is following this developing story closely – constantly talking with Facebook insiders.  We certainly are rooting for Facebook to continue because it’s an important part of our own social media strategy and leading source for our site visits.

WWN is your only reliable news source on this – and all – breaking news stories.

And now… one of the MANY videos from panicked Facebook users about the shut down:

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears announced she was diagnosed with a rare and deadly flatulence disease.

A former cop who worked for Spears claims the singer made his life a living hell — because of her excessive flatulence.

Fernando Flores, who worked as a bodyguard for the pop princess last year, has sued Spears’ conservators for $10 million alleging abuse of Spears non-stop farting.

Flores also alleged that he faced a series of unwanted advances from the 29-year-old Britney, who “paraded naked in front of him and often beckoned him into her bedroom for sex,” according to RadarOnline.com.

Flores never considered having sex with Spears, for a number of reasons, but primarily because “she fart all the time.  She one big farting machine.

In the lawsuit, the former bodyguard claims Spears was a rude boss, who also  picked her nose “unapologetically” and failed to shower for days.

“Spears was generally personally unkempt,” according to the suit.

“Based on his former experience as a police officer, Flores said Spears’ farting could be described as a lethal weapon,” said Flores’ attorney, Raimondo Guarez.  “My client has seen cops overcome with the smell from flatulence and he felt that he was assaulted every day by Spears and her farts.”

Doctors confirm that the fumes from Spears’ farts could be deadly to some.  “Yes, they can cause some people to choke and some may even stop breathing.”

Lawyers for Spears have filed a motion saying the allegations are exaggerated.  But, more importantly, they say that Spears has a rare condition – Flatulencia Explotatta – that affects less than 1% if the population.  “She can’t help it. She’s been do the best doctors in the world.  It’s a disease.”

Spears has topped the charts with a variety of popular songs in her career, including the hit “Baby One More Time” in 1998 and “Toxic” in 2004.

Toxic might be the best word to describe Spears.

WASHINGTON – Chinese President Hu Jintao will be getting the royal treatment at a White House State Dinner.

Wednesday will be the first time in 13 years since the White House has hosted an event that will honor China. US foreign relations officials are crossing their fingers that this black-tie affair will ease tensions that have been developing between the two economic superpowers.

As is with usual White House practice, the specifics of the event are kept secret until shortly before the event is scheduled to begin. However, Weekly World News has been able to uncover some specifics about tomorrow’s event.

Sources were unable to confirm the specifications of the menu but have been able to narrow down the possibilities into two choices. The event will either be catered by Philip Chiang, co-founder of P.F. Chang’s China Bistro or the Obamas will simply order take out from Grand Szechuan II, a popular Chinese take out restaurant in the DC area. Their egg rolls are to die for.

The menu may still be a slight mystery but WWN was able to confirm other aspects of the evening’s festivities. As guests arrive, fireworks will be set off and every guest will be given a lit sparkler to wave about. Michelle Obama will be wearing a custom designed, red, white and blue clad Hanfu. She will have her hair up, of course, and held in place with two golden chopsticks. It is unclear if she will use those chopsticks to eat dinner or not. In addition to the first lady’s traditional Chinese garb, the Obamas have decided to bind the feet of Malia Ann and Sasha just for the occasion.

The banquet hall will be strung with thousands of multi colored paper lanterns and each table setting will have its own unique origami animal that will represent each and every guest. As guests enter they will be instructed to guess which origami animal best represents them and sit at that place setting. This sounds like a disaster in the making if you ask me, but the Obamas know best.

Rumor has it that Chinese President Hu Jintao plans to follow in the foot steps of  former Chinese President Jiang Zemin and sing on stage during the evening’s festivities. Insider sources have said that Jintao has been practicing singing Guns and Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine” and Britney Spears’ “Toxic” on his karaoke machine back in China. Let’s hope the band knows these classics.

Since dinner tickets are extremely sought after there is little chance that any of us will be able to attend. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that Washington’s very own Ticketmaster Ted will find a way to get a hold of some. You can usually find Ted just past the required 1,500 feet needed in order to sell tickets to the event.  You’ll have no problems recognizing Ted. He’s the one with the mullet in the Redskins jersey.

BREAKING NEWS – Fox  is developing the Weekly World News television show!

The only question is, who is going to play Bat Boy:

1) Chris Kattan?

2)  Britney Spears?

C) Larissa Riquelme?

Here’s the exciting report by Michael Schneider in today’s Variety:

Bat Boy call your agent!

Fox is developing a half-hour sitcom based on the supermarket tabloid Weekly World News.

Scribes John Aboud and Michael Colton (“Leverage”) are on board to turn the rag — known for its coverage of all things UFO, Bigfoot, Elvis (who’s apparently still alive) and other anomalies – into a sitcom.

Twentieth Century Fox TV and DreamWorks TV are producing.  DreamWorks TV toppers Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank are exec producing with Aboud and Colton.

The team behind the Weekly World News brand are also heavily involved.  Led by CEO Neil McGinness, the tabloid has been looking at new ways to exploit its edgy and well-known brand.

Scribes’ other credits include feature “The Comebacks” and Fox animated series “Sit Down, Shut Up.”

The Weekly World News which boasted that it told nothing but the truth no matter how outlandish the report stopped printing in 2007.  The paper continues via its website, however, recently confirming that XBox Kinect was created by aliens and that rapper Lil’ Wayne planned to join the priesthood, among other stories.

HOLLYWOOD – Producers of the hit Fox sitcom, Glee, are preparing a show dedicated to the  music of Tupac.

Hot off a hit episode dedicated to the music of Britney Spears, producers of the FOX Sitcom, Glee, have decided to do an entire episode based on the music of Tupac Shakur.

Tupac’s estate has given the producers permission to pick through his back catalogue for the upcoming tribute episode.  The family is looking forward to seeing what director Ryan Murphy and the cast make of songs like Hit ‘Em Up and Picture Me Rolling.

A family spokesperson said that few people knew that Tupac was in the school choir when he was in grade school.  “He loved to sing Kumbaya and Jimmy Crack Corn.  He loved that sh@t,” said Tupac’s half-brother Maurice Harding.

“Tupac is one of the greatest artist in the last thirty years and high school choirs across the country have been singing his songs for years.  His song, “I  Don’t Give a F*&k” is regularly sung at grammar school graduations., ” said Glee Executive Producer Moses Blue.  “We think it’s time that his songs get sung on national TV by a talented group of high-energy thespians.”

The show will feature some of Tupac’s best-loved songs:  When Thugz Cry, Brenda’s Got a Baby, Pour Out A Little Liquor and the rousing Hell 4 A Hustler.

But Harding and Glee producers have come under fire from the rap and hip-hip communities saying that Tupac would never want his music played on Glee.  “Yo, Tupac was the man, greatest rapper of all time.  To have his rhymes trashed by those fools on Glee, man, that is the lowest.  FOX gonna get a hurtin’ for doing this.  The hip-hip community ain’t gonna stand for it.  The Protests, they a coming…” said Def Jam executive, Tony Sharraz.

“Oh, they are just jealous.  Eminem has contacted us about getting his music on the show, so has Run DMC, Common, Snoop Dogg and Kanye West.  Everybody in the hip-hop community is a sellout, everybody in music.  That’s just the way it is,” said FOX executive Lloyd Brownstiein.   “Music doesn’t mean anything anymore unless it’s on TV.”

Glee’s “Very Special Tupac Episode” will air in November.

NEW YORK, NY – Facing sexual harassment claims, Britney Spears has gotten support from an unlikely source!

“Hit me baby one more time…” But this time do it with a sexual harassment suit. According to a former bodyguard of Britney Spears, she sexually harassed him and abused her children. In tough economic times, it seems as though Fernando Flores was just trying to squeeze a couple of extra dollars into his wallet.

Spears denied the reports, saying in a statement on her website that authorities looked into his claims but found no reason to act. The statement said the pop singer and her attorney expect Flores’ sexual harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress lawsuit to be dismissed.

“This lawsuit is another unfortunate situation where someone is trying to take advantage of the Spears family and make a name for himself,” the statement said. “The Department of Children and Family Services conducted a proper investigation surrounding Mr. Flores’ accusations and have closed the case without further action.”

Spears also got some help in the form of her ex-husband Kevin Federline and his attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan. K-Fed’s camp has called the accusations “baseless.”

“He is satisfied that the allegations are a product of economic motives,” Kaplan said. “They are as baseless as they seem.”

Now that’s true love. K-Fed has your back Britney. Perhaps there is a possible reunion in the near future … yea, maybe not.

WASHINGTON, DC – Sparking bipartisan outrage on the Hill, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor admitted to skipping President Obama’s press conference to “Get his dance on.”

Cantor of Virginia is a Republican member of the House of Representatives and rising star in the minority party has reportedly hurt his standing within the party by not joining his delegation at the President’s nationally televised press conference.

“Republicans are getting hammered on the economy,” House Minority Leader John Boehner told reporters following the conference.  “I’m disapointed that every member of the House Republicans were not able to make it tonight and join in solidarity as we craft our message in response to the President’s proposals.”

As the news of Cantor’s whereabouts Tuesday night began making the rounds on the Hill Wednesday afternoon, Boehner was unavailable for comment, but a staffer requesting anonymity, told the Weekly World News that his boss was, “Crazy jealous.  He loves Brit Brit.  And that presser was bo-ring to the max.”

When the news first came out, many expected Cantor to shy from the spotlight and try to play down the information.  Surprisingly, that was not the case.

“I will not lie about it,” Cantor said in a statement to the press.  “I did skip the Economic press conference last night in order to attend the Britney Spears Circus Tour concert.  And I don’t regret that decision in the least.  It was insane!  Anyone who says Brit is not back in top form is just delusion.  She’s beautiful, she’s talented, and let me tell you, she knows how to work the whip!”

Asked if he thought his actions would harm his parties ability to stand up to the President and if his own credibility at home would take a hit, Cantor was equally forthcoming.

“Playa please.  Constituents want their representatives to be hipper, to be with it.  That is clear.  Economics are dull.  You think the majority of Virginia voters would choose to watch a the press ask questions on TV over going to see a kickin’ live show featuring a beautiful girl sing great music?”

“Last night, I lived the American dream and my colleagues and constituents will reward me in kind.  Just you wait.”

The thunder of Zeus be upon you, O mortals!  I, the great and terrible Poseidon, can supply you with boundless alternative energy. Cleaner than clean coal.  Less wasteful than nuclear waste.  And with more career peaks than oil and Sylvester Stallone put together.

I offer you the limitless, otherworldly power of an ancient celestial god.  I offer you myself.

Another comeback lies before me, mortals, but only if you come back to me.  Audiences may be fickle, but the glory of we Immortal Ones remains.  And like I keep telling my agent, we just need to give the people a reason.

You are beginning to sense that the manipulation of your planet’s resources through traditional scientific means will not bring you the favor or the riches you seek.  The truth you all choose to forget is that we great Olympian gods are the real guardians of fortune.  And fortune cannot be taken by force: siphoned out of the bowels of the earth or captured from the sun’s rays or milled out of the very wind itself.  It must be given to you—by me.  And I’m not giving it up without a little respect.

You would not ask Brad Pitt to perform in films without the adoring attention of his fans.  You would not expect Britney Spears to sing without recording the minutiae of her life for all to see.  And you should not expect this great deity to provide you with a renewable energy source without affirming your devotion.

So pursue the blind alleys of witchcraft and sorcery you call science, if you so choose.  Ignore, if you will, the great passions and intricate scheming of gods that determine your earthly fate.  Pretend that you are not subject to my ever-changing moods, that it is not my anger that clouds the skies, my fury that propels the winds, and my tears that rain down upon the earth when I look back upon the glory days of old.

Foolish mortals!  Your quest for cold fusion will be met only with the cold fury of the gods if the flame of my fame is allowed to go out.

Worship me, and you shall be energized!

LOS ANGELES, CA – Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman launched a website to solicit donations for her family, but it was immediately hacked by a group of vigilante mothers!

The website originally featured photos of all eight octuplets, a thank you note from Suleman, images of children’s toys and a large donation button for viewers to send money through. Suleman also provided an address where people can send items such as diapers and formula.

Suleman was perhaps not prepared for the backlash she was to receive, as the site was hacked and brought down within hours. The original homepage was left up but defaced, as seen in the screenshot below:

The site was tagged by the famous hacker group MOD, also known as the Mothers of Disappointment. The mysterious group has a history of attacking personal sites they disapprove of, including Britney Spears when she infamously hung dry her sons on a clothes line after a bath, and Angelina Jolie for being Angelina Jolie.

Weekly World News could not reach any members for comment, however reporters did receive a short note from an anonymous e-mail address:

mod will not tolerate the selfish acts of bad parenting
we will remain true to our mission despite any setbacks
viva la maternity
(call your mother, she misses you)

The site has since been restored, and Suleman’s PR representative has stated they are now taking extra security measures to arm against future attacks.

What were the top five celebrity stories Weekly World News uncovered this year?

#5. FATFOOT ON THE VIEW

The overweight Sasquatch appeared on The View to discuss its struggles with negative body image.

#4. BEAR GRYLLS’ INJURY FROM YETI FIGHT

Weekly World News discovered the truth behind Bear Grylls’ shoulder injury: a fight with a yeti over a dead seal!

#3. BATNEY SPEARS

America’s favorite mutant helped Britney Spears break free of her handlers and have fun again.

#2. AMY WINEHOUSE REVEALS ALL

Amy Winehouse not only went topless but beehive-less, revealing her true hair and turning witnesses to stone.

#1. SARAH PALIEN?

Governor Palin’s resemblance to the Alien revealed that she is in fact a Palien, originating from the planet Wazeela.