LOS ANGELES – Bret Michaels asked Kristi Gibson to marry him on the season finale of “Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It.”
Kristi accepted Bret’s marriage proposal after a volatile 16-year relationship with the rocker.

“I want you to know that I love you, and you’ve been unbelievably a big part of my life,” Bret told Kristi. “I want you to be my wife.”

Kristi was shocked by the proposal and had difficulty communicating her emotions onscreen, saying, “I’m speechless. I thought this day would never come and he doesn’t realize how happy he’s just made me.”

Bret explained his hesitation in committing to marriage: “All these years I have feared that if I got married I would have to give up my life on the road – have someone try to change me, have someone trying to settle me, or maybe I would just fail at it,” said Bret. “After 16 years of its ups and its downs I look around and I see who’s still standing here and it’s Kristi and she’s the one who’s put up with me.”

In April, Bret suffered a brain hemorrhage and “warning stroke,” leaving him in intensive care for over a month. Following his recovery, Bret won “Celebrity Apprentice” just two-and-a-half months later.

The couple has two daughters together: Raine, 10, and Jorja, 5.

Look at the happy couple:

LOS ANGELES – Achy Breaky Heart!   Tish Cyrus is having an affair with Bret Michaels!

Miley Cyrus, who turns 18 on November 23rd and has already agreed to appear in Playboy, has a whole heap of new trouble:  her mother, Tish, is having an affair with Bret Michaels!  WWN confirmed reports of the affair with insiders in the Michael’s and Cyrus clans.

That’s right boy and girls….  Miley’s mother is a cheater.   Poor Billy Ray!!

“Teenagers are mortified enough by their parents’ behavior even when their parents are perfectly fine,” points out Beverly Hills psychologist Julie Armstrong. “Her mother has brought public shame on her.”

Billy Ray isn’t taking it well….”he only spent an hour on his hair today!” said Billy Ray rep, Mary Hillstrom.

Many have said that it’s not a coincidence that Miley’s  new “sexy” (or slutty) look for her hit song, Can’t Be Tamed was the brainchild of Tish.  Perhaps Tish was feeling frisky about her steamy love affair with Bret and she wanted to transform her daughter as well.   All we know is that Bret Michaels, who became the Celebrity Apprentice last year, has given Tish his heart.  “You’re hired, to be my lover,”  is what Bret reportedly told Miley’s mom last week.

In her recent performances in three new videos, “Can’t Be Tamed,” “Who Owns My Heart,” and the new “The Big Bang,” Miley has groped men and women, writhed around on a bed, simulated girl-on-girl kissing, and dressed in corsets, tush-high skirts and over-the-knee boots.

“Whether or not Tish Cyrus and Brett had an affair, Miley has undoubtedly seen her mom and Bret being flirtatious with each other. Miley is copying her mom’s sexually provocative behavior because she sees how much attention it brings her,” says Beverly Hills psychiatrist Dr. Carole Lieberman.

Tish may get cut off, financially, from her daughter once Miley learns that Tish is leaving her father.  “Tish will have to answer to Miley for hurting and betraying her daughter. And if Tish is truly remorseful and honestly faces Miley and explains her behavior, Miley may be able to accept it,” believes psychologist Julie Armstrong. “But if Tish lies or tries to minimize what she did, Miley will not be able to trust Tish, and it will push Miley away.”

Well, that’s the last thing that vulnerable Miley needs. No matter how grown-up Miley thinks she is in her thigh-high boots and see-through tops, she’s still a little girl inside who needs a father AND a mother she can trust NOT to betray her!

But… Miley keeps dreaming, reaching for the stars…

HOLLYWOOD – ABC is launching a new reality show – Celebrity Coal Mine.

Hollywood is once again taking a major world event and making it into… entertainment!  Yay!   After the thrilling rescue of 33 Chilean miners, producers of the mega-hit, Dancing With The Stars, got the idea for the new reality show.

The premise:  celebrities are put in a coal mine – 2,000 feet below the earth’s surface – and then each week one of them will earn a trip to the top and get out of the coal mine.   “It’s brilliant, absolutely brilliant,” said  DWTS producer Lloyd Moher about his own idea.  “I was shaving this morning and when I saw those miners come up on the TV and the real human drama of it all, I said to myself – ‘that’s a reality show’!”

“It’s a combination Survivor meets Dancing With The Stars,” said ABC Network executive, Rachel Kelly.  “We have twelve celebrities down in the mine. They will get food and water and make-up and prescription drugs – everything they need in the real world – then they will have to perform a dance routine in the coal mine.  Each week the best dancer gets to go up.  It’s a fantastic show.”

Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels have already signed up to be on the show.

Tom Bergeron and Brooke  Burke have already signed on to be hosts.  They are working on a catch phrase that can be said each week at the end of the show.  Some phrases they are considering:  “You go up!”,  “Go to the top!”,  “You can live!”

Coal miners in West Virgina are not happy about the show.  “Typical Hollywood B.S., they do a show about miners and they film it in Los Angeles. What kind of crap is that?  There’s no coal mines in Los Angeles?” said Hank Bowley of Buery, West Virginia.

“We can’t get celebrities to go to West Virginia.  They want to be near their agents and managers.  So, we’re building a mine shaft in Culver City.  It’s not as deep as the shafts in West Virginia, but it’s a good shaft.  The celebrities have approved of the shaft,” said Moher.

The show will premier in January.   The ideas they keep pumping out in Hollywood – amazing!

You go up!

LOS ANGELES, CA – A current reality TV star finds himself in critical condition after a severe brain hemorrhage!

Bret Michaels was rushed to intensive care late Thursday after a severe headache. The report said doctors discovered bleeding at the base of his brain stem. This came from Joann Mignano, Michaels’ New York-based publicist, who confirmed the report on People magazine’s website.

Michaels was the star of the show Rock of Love from 2007 to 2009 and is currently doing very well on Donald Trump’s show, The Celebrity Apprentice.

Weekly World News sends out its best hopes and wishes to Bret Michaels as he tries to pulls through. If he might pass, his legacy will live on all around the world and particularly in England as his show Rock of Ages was sent by our government to the Queen of England and is on her ipod.

Greetings Sentients!  It is I, your humble ambassador of all things epicurean, Mygar. Once again it falls upon me to relay news of the artistic world, this time the Tony Awards.

Regrettably my invitation to the event seems to have been lost in the mail so I was forced to watch the proceedings on television, champagne still in hand to toast each winner.

Last night’s overall winner was Billy Elliot, which took home 10 Tonys including the highly coveted best musical.  Billy Elliot is the story of a boy from a working class town who uses art, in his case dance, to rise out of poverty.  A story close to my own heart.  The only downside to this show is that it is yet another large musical based on a movie, a trend borne by Satan and carried out by demon-spawn dressed as Broadway producers.  However this musical far surpasses the standard set forth by “Legally Blonde” “Hairspray” “Carrie” and “The Toxic Avenger.”  When I saw it in previews, I was left weeping like a child and had to be helped into a cab by ushers.  All hail Billy Elliot!

Best Leading Actor went to Geoffrey Rush as for his role in “Exit the King.”  Upon accepting his award, he said, “I want to thank Manhattan audiences, for proving that French existential tragicomedy rocks.”  Oh Geoffrey, you card!

Other notable wins include winners included Angela Lansbury and Liza Minelli, who surprised audiences not just by winning but by still being ambulatory at their age.  Their wins came for playing Dorothy and Blanche in a staged version of “The Golden Girls.”

“God of Carnage”, a British show by Yazmina Reza, dominated the straight play categories.  It took Best Play and Best Leading Acress for Marcia Gay Harden.  The show focuses on the quiet hell suffered by two middle-aged married couples, and ends with an explosive shootout and car chase.  James Gandolfini did not win for his part in the show, and says he hopes for better luck next year with the highly anticipated “Sopranos: the Musical.”

The awards and my glass of bubbly have come to an end.  Join me next time when I will be reviewing the DVD collection of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

As always, your humble servant,
Mygar.