ORTIZ FINALLY SCORES

BOSTON, MA – After striking out at the plate in Game 7 of the ALCS, slumping slugger David Ortiz finally scored off-the-field with Cynthia, the estranged wife of Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez.

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Satan Trading for Souls on Craigslist

BROOKLYN, NY – Using the popular website Craigslist, the Devil has started trading human souls for basic goods and services.

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