WASHINGTON, DC – The ever eloquent Jessica Alba called Bill O’Reilly an “a-hole” during an inaugural party, and the proud pundit is taking it to the streets.

Jesse White, a producer of popular show The O’Reilly Factor, caught up with celebrities outside MTV’s Declare Yourself event and asked if they had any shout-outs for Mr. O’Reilly. While some were happy to participate, Alba made her dislike of O’Reilly evident. “He’s kind of a… kind of an a-hole. A little bit.” When asked how so, she responded, “I don’t know how he does it. Maybe he’s just born that way.”

O’Reilly has now thrown down the gauntlet, literally. On last night’s show, O’Reilly took a white glove and angrily threw it at the camera, then shook his fist and growled, “Alba, you pinhead! I dare you to take me on, mano-a-womano!”

When a stagehand quietly whispered that ‘mano-a-mano’ means ‘hand to hand’, not ‘man and man’, O’Reilly threw his coffee mug at him.

It is reported that Alba happily accepted the duel, stating, “Any time, any place!” She revealed that she is in fact descended from a long line of legendary Mexican gun fighters and would love to demonstrate her skills on the TV pundit.

O’Reilly has not issued any further statements, but insiders say he will not step foot outside the Fox News building, for fear of the feisty actress finding him.

NEW YORK, NY – Leaving the side of Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman, PhD Ape begins preparations for a three-day seminar aimed at settling fears of the Right Wing radio and television personalities over the coming Obama Administration.

Continuing what has already been a very busy fall for the renowned Psychiatrist to the Stars, PhD Ape landed in New York City this morning for the seminar. Radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News talk show host, Bill O’Reilly are just two of the high profile “talking heads” expected to be in attendance.

“These are tough times for Rush and Bill.  Not to mention Sean [Hannity] and countless others,” PhD Ape told reporters.  “There is an obvious shift in the mindset of the nation.  America was widely considered a Center-Right country.  I think the latest election shows we are in fact to be Center-Left.

“Right wing pundits and commentators are forced to question their role in the new administration and a newly aligned nation.  I feel they still play an important role.  This seminar aims at teaching these guys how best to adapt within a changing political climate, not just professionally but emotionally.”

PhD Ape thinks this is especially important for Mr. O’Reilly.  It is rumored that he had his tear ducts removed in the mid-90s to prevent any display of ‘womanly emotions’. Weekly World News was unable to find anyone willing to verify this on record.