WASHINGTON, DC – Charles Freeman has withdrawn from consideration as National Intelligence Chair.  Another appointee is claimed by the Obama Curse.

Freeman has faced great opposition to being considered as Chairman of the National Intelligence Committee, usually in regards to his criticism of Israel’s policies.  However it wasn’t until a recent string of bad luck-a flat tire, his cat ran away, and his grandmother absconded to Tahiti with the bulk of his checking account-that he decided to withdraw his consideration for the position.

Since December nearly a dozen major and minor Obama appointees have backed out from their assignments, believing their positions to have a curse on them.  Poor luck and bad publicity have befallen many of those picked for appointment by President Obama.

Ever since Bill Richardson refused to shake the hand of an old gypsy woman in New Haven, Connecticut, the position has been said to have a curse on it.  At first believed to only be the Treasury Secretary, the curse has since spread to many of Obama’s cabinet and political appointee positions.

A spokesperson for Richardson said “He never refused to shake anyone’s hand.  There were a lot of people there that day, and he just didn’t have time for everyone.”

Fox News has held a weekly effigy burning in the courtyard of their headquarters since the story broke.  Despite their best efforts to fuel the curse, most agree the effigies accomplish nothing except making them feel better.  Glen Beck has several administration voodoo dolls: Rahm Emanuel, Tim Geithner, and Hillary Clinton to name a few, using Internet flash polls to determine where to put the pins.

Whether the curse will need to be lifted or eventually wear off is still unknown in Washington.  Several mystics and Houdon’s have been contacted by the White House but no official statement has been given yet.

Charles “Chas” Freeman is looking forward to a quieter life, and putting this curse business behind him.

SANTA FE, NM – Ties to an alien energy company have resulted in Governor Bill Richardson removing his name for consideration as future Commerce Secretary.

Governor Richardson is currently under federal investigation for steering government contracts in New Mexico towards a company that invested significant funds to his own political campaigns.

President-Elect Obama offered the Governor the position of Commerce Secretary as a result of Richardson’s impressive experience of job creation in New Mexico as well as investing in new sources of Green technology.

The Federal Investigation alleges that the CEO of the alien company Krullakz Energy Inc., Fwqqu Zxyvxy, donated thousands of dollars to Richardson’s gubernatorial campaigns as well as his most recent failed presidential campaign.  In exchange, Richardson pushed for no-bid contracts to be given to Krullakz for establishing Green energy infrastructure throughout the state.

“I don’t think this would be such a big deal if it were an American energy firm,” political analyst Donna Brazille said.  “The contracts Richardson created were actually extremely beneficial for the people of New Mexico and the nation.  It’s just that he did exclusive business with an alien company.”

“Richardson is being made an example of for supporting aliens over Americans at a time when this country is very pro-America. “

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama will soon be appointing members to his cabinet, and insiders are predicting one surprising addition.

While it is still early yet, speculations have already begun on who Obama will be selecting to join his presidential cabinet in January 2009. Names like John Kerry, Caroline Kennedy, Colin Powell and Bill Richardson have been bandied about, but one name in particular stands out: Obatma.

When asked about the possibility at a brief press conference, Obama explained, “Look, I want to clarify, this would not be an act of nepotism. Obatma is an intelligent, cool-headed mutant, wise beyond his years.

“If he were ready, willing and able to take the position, I would happily make him the Commissioner of my newly created Bureau of Mutant Affairs.”

Obatma was unavailale for comment, as he is currently in the swamps of Gallatin County taking a well-earned break from campaigning for Obama.