I’m madder than Paula Jones with a leaky implant!

Leave it to Bill Clinton to travel thousands of miles just to meet two young chicks who can’t get away!

I guess being married to Hillary has to be pretty bad if it makes a fella wanna fly to North Korea! Hell, they had to draft me to get me over there, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty!

Even I’ll admit it: it’s great that Clinton got those two lady reporters out of the clutches of that creepy little weirdo who runs the place. Who knows what crazy stuff that Kim Ding Dong might have had in store for them? I’m pretty sure that ugly mutt can only get girlfriends if he grabs them off the side of the road and keeps them in a dungeon.

I figure Clinton talked Kim Ding Dong into handing the ladies over to him, in exchange for tips on how to score with chicks!

But here’s what I don’t understand: one of those lady reporters works for Al Gore, at his stupid TV channel nobody watches. So why didn’t Gore, Mr. Nobel Peace Prize, go over to rescue his own employee himself?

Back in the good old days, Ross Perot paid out of his own pocket to get an old Special Forces colonel to rescue a couple of his workers from the crazy Iranians. But Al Gore, even though he’s just as rich and powerful, couldn’t drag himself away from his open (environmentally friendly) fridge to do the same thing?

Anyway, it’s a pretty sorry day when old Ed Anger has to congratulate Bill Clinton, but I salute the old horndog for a job well done!