LAS VEGAS – Tragedy struck Kim Kardashian last night on a private flight from New Jersey to Las Vegas. Her left butt cheek exploded.

HOLLYWOOD – A new plastic surgery procedure is all the rage in Hollywood. Women are getting a uniboob!

BEVERLY HILLS – Plastic surgeons across the city have confirmed a serious Botox shortage. There’s fighting in the streets!

LOS ANGELES – Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel was so disgusted with Lindsay Lohan’s that after sentencing her to 90 days, the Judge threw tarballs at her.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is not only unloading his family’s home to line his pockets, but key Playboy Mansion items are also going to the block.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – After dumping recent boyfriend, Paris is going where no human woman as gone before.