NEW YORK – The eldest son of Bernard Madoff committed suicide today. Or did he?

Here’s one my grandson told me: “What’s the difference between Jesus and Obama? Jesus knew how to build a cabinet!”

NEW YORK, NY – Bernard Madoff will plead guilty to 11 charges on Thursday, but only with a very particular plea bargain.

NORTH POLE – Santa Claus has yet again been frozen in a block of ice.

PALM SPRINGS, FL – Continuing a terrible holiday season, Bernard Madoff was banned from Hanukkah celebrations with his family, causing him to spend the first day with an unlikely Jew – The Alien!

NEW YORK, NY – Having been released on bail, Bernie Madoff is now open game for Bat Boy!

PALM BEACH, FL – In a move surprising many of his fans and clients, PhD Ape is traveling to Florida in light of the Madoff investment scam – to meet with the victims!

SENECA FALLS, W.VA – Bernard Madoff may be free on bail from fraud charges but Bat Boy has pledged to see him punished!