NEW YORK, NY – Bernard Madoff was sentenced yesterday for committing the biggest ponzi scheme in history. The courts are insuring he serves as much time as possible.

PALM SPRINGS, FL – Continuing a terrible holiday season, Bernard Madoff was banned from Hanukkah celebrations with his family, causing him to spend the first day with an unlikely Jew – The Alien!

NEW YORK, NY – Having been released on bail, Bernie Madoff is now open game for Bat Boy!

PALM BEACH, FL – In a move surprising many of his fans and clients, PhD Ape is traveling to Florida in light of the Madoff investment scam – to meet with the victims!

SENECA FALLS, W.VA – Bernard Madoff may be free on bail from fraud charges but Bat Boy has pledged to see him punished!