WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order banning the production and/or consumption of French Fries!

BOISE, ID – Quick Gem Staters, hide the Biggie Smalls! The state of Idaho is banning hip-hop music!

HAVANA, CUBA – Fidel Castro met with US lawmakers for the first time in years this Tuesday. Political expert the Alien was on hand to assist with the talks.