SPARTANBURG, SC – A day after wishing Elvis Presley “Happy Birthday” on the anniverary of his death, Michele Bachmann invited MJ to Washington.

Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is on a roll.  She made a gaffe yesterday and wished Elvis Presley a “Happy Birthday” on the 34th anniversary of his death, and today she tried to outdo herself.

“Some people think that I don’t know much about music.  But, I not only love the two major styles of music, country and classical, but I am also very much into the music the kids are listening to today.  In fact, I think musicians can help heal the world.  That’s why I am inviting Michael Jackson to join me in Washington DC in September, so we can all come together and… change the world!”

Bachmann’s aides tried to tell her that Michael Jackson died in 2009, but the Congresswoman was on a roll.  “I’ve loved Michael Jackson since I was a little girl.  His hit “Superstition” is one of my favorite songs of all times and when he plays the harmonica, it sends shivers down my leg.  I’m just said that he’s blind.”

Bachmann then went on to talk about gay marriage:  “Gay marriage is fine with me as long as you are not a homosexual.  Homosexuals are sinners.  Boys should not be having sex with boys and girls should not be having sex with girls.  God said that.  Not me.”

The Spartanburg crowd seemed stunned by Bachmann’s speech.

“If your gay and you want to get married – go ahead.  But to me ‘gay’ means ‘happy’ – so being happy is a good reason to get married.”

Bachmann is becoming famous for redefining words.  On Fox News Sunday, she told Chris Wallace that she and her husband think the word “submissive” means “respectful”.  She also thought that the word “bigot” means “patriotic” and she defined the word “sex” to mean “get it over as quickly as possible.”

Bachmann is currently in third place in the latest poll for the Republican nomination.  She is excited to meet Michael Jackson in September and has chosen as her campaign theme song, “Man In The Mirror.”

“That’s what I am.  A man in a mirror,”  Bachmann told the crowd.

WASHINGTON, DC – Rep. Michele Bachmann called for citizens to be “armed and dangerous” over one of President Obama’s proposals, and she has stepped up to the plate.

Bachmann is a Republican Representative for Minnesota, who has already found herself in hot water numerous times. Bachmann has stated that gays and lesbians suffer from “sexual dysfunction” and believes the gay community targets children. During the 2008 presidential election, Bachmann said she had concerns that nominee Barack Obama had anti-American views, and that there were anti-American members of Congress that should be investigated.

But Rep. Bachmann made her most alarming statement just a few days ago. When asked on a radio show about President Barack Obama’s cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions, Bachmann exclaimed:

“I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’ and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States.”

Rep. Bachmann has made good on her word and showed up outside the White House this morning, shotgun in hand, ready to start a revolution. To a press conference of three, Bachmann stated, “I have called upon thousands of loyal Americans to march here this morning, with whatever weapons they have on hand: butter knives, slingshots, silly string, water balloons… Anything that’s going to let the Washington Elite know that we are serious!”

By 10am, no other citizens had shown, so Bachmann decided to go it alone. She made it halfway over the gate before getting stuck. Security guards stood by for 15 minutes and watched her struggle before finally helping her down. They quietly confiscated her GI Joe toy rifle and let her go.

Rush Limbaugh pledged that he would help Bachmann dig a tunnel to the White House; however, he pledged this on his nationally syndicated radio show, somewhat ruining the element of surprise.