LAS VEGAS, NV – President-Elect Obama’s streak of intergalactic bad luck continues this week as the Installation Commander of Area 51 refused to hand over the keys.

Earlier in the week it was reported that the Obama Transition Team has been clashing with NASA over the qualifications of representatives assigned to work with the organization.

Obama traveled to Las Vegas yesterday to create space between his Transition Team and the investigation into embattled Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Under the cloak of a quick gambling trip, Obama slipped away to the top-secret military installation.

While the United States government and military has never confirmed the existence of aliens and UFOs at Area 51, Weekly World News has reported the facts for years.

Unconfirmed reports explain that the President-Elect arrived outside Area 51 sometime between four and six in the morning and spent at least 45 minutes attempting to gain access to the facility.

A Weekly World News hidden microphone picked up fragments of the conversation between Obama and the military personnel.

President-Elect Obama was heard saying, “Aw, come on!  This is the whole reason I ran for President!  Give me the keys, already!”

It is believed that after his inauguration, in addition to the black book of nuclear codes, Obama will finally receive a set of keys to Area 51.

CLARK COUNTY, NV – The federal government has been getting creative during the economic recession, but have they gone too far this time?

Government insiders revealed to Weekly World News that for the past month, the infamous Area 51 military base has been transformed into the galaxy’s hottest nightclub. “Studio 51″ is a twenty-thousand square-foot dance club designed to suck the space currency right out of aliens’ wallets.

“We realized that the most efficient way to inject money into the local and national economy was to court the alien dollar,” said an unidentified general. “They can buy $1000 U.S. with just one dloran!” Dlorans are the most universally accepted form of currency in the galaxy, and aliens are throwing them left and right at this new hot spot!

The general explained, “We’ve incorporated nitrogen-based beverages, four-dimensional mirror balls and music with frequencies we can’t even scientifically explain. But we had to draw the line at lap dances. There was no way to regulate it.

“I mean, have you seen some of these females? We can’t make heads or tails of them. Literally.”

GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.

In 1947, an alien spacecraft crashed in Roswell, New Mexico and the surviving aliens were brought to the Air Force base in southern Nevada known as Area 51.  The aliens have thrived and built a community that they have called home for over 60 years.

Oprah, a long-time supporter of aliens, has done countless shows promoting alien issues.  She does tailor the shows to also be applicable to human problems but contends, “Aliens are always at the center of it all.”  There is even speculation that she took a shine to Dr. Phil because he is part alien.

Winfrey’s plan is to turn the base into a full habitat for all alien cultures.  “I want this to be a welcome mat for visitors all over this wonderful world,” exclaimed a hopeful Oprah.  “It starts with this base and, hopefully, soon the whole state of Nevada will be a refuge for travelers and outcasts from everywhere.”

So far the Air Force, the Department of Energy and the National Security Council have all turned down Winfrey.  But she hopes that her endorsement of President-Elect Barack Obama will breathe new life into the one dream that she hasn’t been able to make come true.