LAS VEGAS, NV – President-Elect Obama’s streak of intergalactic bad luck continues this week as the Installation Commander of Area 51 refused to hand over the keys.

CLARK COUNTY, NV – The federal government has been getting creative during the economic recession, but have they gone too far this time?

GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.