PALO ALTO, CA – WWN has learned that Apple has created a special tombstone for Steve Jobs.

Wal-Mart inked a deal to pay the U.S. government $25 million a year to rename our galaxy.

RIP. Steve Jobs. 1955-2011.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order banning the production and/or consumption of French Fries!

WESTERN SWEDEN – A moose got drunk on fermenting apples and got stuck in an apple tree.

CUPERTINO, CA — Steve Jobs announced he is building a new headquarters that will also double as a spaceship.

PALO ALTO, CA – It was revealed today that iPhones keep track of everywhere a user goes… and saves the information in a database!

TOPEKA, KS – Defiant 8-year-old swallows his new iPod Shuffle.

WASHINGTON – Steve Jobs teams up with Senator John McCain to deal with iPhone-addicted Americans.

BEIJING, China – Chimpanzees are now being used for outsourced technical support.