SAINT LUCIA – Amy Winehouse decided to bare all this weekend, including removing her signature beehive – and witnesses were turned to stone!

Winehouse is enjoying a relaxing Caribbean Christmas with friends and family after a crushing year. She flirted with rehab multiple times and recently began divorce proceedings, while her music career took the backseat.

In an effort to let it all hang out, Winehouse revealed not only much of her body but her natural hair as well, to the shock and immediate transformation of male onlookers. It appears her beehive was for more than just fashion: Winehouse has the Medusa effect!

The revealing of her true serpentine hair will turn any men who look upon her into stone, as many unfortunate tourists found out.The beach quickly cleared and Winehouse frolicked in the waves to her heart’s content.

Will she continue to keep her curse in check when she returns to England? Or will she begin using her powers for evil? Paparazzi, beware!

UPDATE: Amy Winehouse has been submitted to the hospital again, this time over stress from her crop circles!

While some press are reporting that Winehouse was treated for another drug binge, hospital staff revealed to Weekly World News that she had a nervous breakdown after the crop circles in her hair continued to reappear.

Her management have tried to cover it up by spray-painting her bald spots black, but how much more can poor Amy take? Clearly she is taking drugs to deal with her ordeal. These aliens are ruthless!

September 24, 2008
ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Hair-raising reports are pouring in from around the world of intricate crop circles mysteriously appearing overnight on people’s scalps.

The elaborate designs are created while the individual is asleep, yet not one of the victims or their partners has reported waking up during the procedure.

Victims say they wake from ‘an unusually restful sleep’ to find a complex array of circles and lines shaved into their heads.

“The cranial patterns are too intricate for the perpetrator of a hoax to have fashioned them without waking the recipients in the process,” says Dr. Leonard Schemmel, head of the Alien Research Center in New Mexico.
“We’ve gathered over 200 reports of cranial crop circles from 12 different countries, which appear to rule out a hoax.

“We’re convinced that these are genuine cases of extraterrestrial contact.”

One eerie case is that of British singer Amy Winehouse.

“It scares me to think… that.. some space creature was… in my bedroom… messing… with my head,” said Winehouse slowly, whose signature beehive was turned into a mind-bending matrix of complex designs.

Winehouse’s inability to concentrate on any task for more than seven seconds reaffirms that these victims are not shaving their own heads.

Fortunately for victims, the shaved sections of their heads grow back quickly.

“Apparently, the work was done with some sort of laser-like instrument that spares the hair follicles,” says Dr. Schemmel. “The patterns stay until the victim’s hair grows again.”

Why certain individuals are selected to receive the markings remains a mystery.