SOUTH BEACH, Miami – The Jersey Devil is spotted taking a break from the harsh NJ winter.

Legend has it that after springing from the loins of a 19^th century whore, the Jersey Devil immediately spread its wings and took flight. After soaring through the skies looking for a home, the wretched beast finally settled down in the Pine Barrens of Southern New Jersey. Until now, the Jersey Devil has been a reclusive creature not venturing out into public with much frequency. The creature’s reclusiveness is largely due to the repeated accusations that it continually kills livestock in the region.

“Them devils er ornery lil rascals, always killin’ ma livestock!” exclaimed Joe Headley, a farmer from southern NJ that raises cattle, reindeer and alpaca.

But now it seems that the Jersey Devil, or JD as he likes to be called, has broken free form the hermit lifestyle. Like many other snow birds, he has taken refuge in the sunshine state for the reminder of the season, avoiding the rest of this year’s harsh New Jersey winter.

JD has recently been spotted vacationing in Miami’s hot spot, South Beach. Several accounts have been reported of a large winged bipedal creature, with a horse-like head and hooves for feet gallivanting about South Beach’s Lincoln Road. Many believe that JD decided to travel to this tropical oasis because most of south Florida’s residents have never even heard of the Jersey Devil, much less know about its sorted past.

“I’ve never heard of the Jersey Devil,” slurred Ashley Bonita, a regular South Beach party girl, as she swayed drunkenly twirling her hair between her fingers, “Where’s Jersey anyway? LOL!”

And although JD has an ominous presence and repugnant foul smell, no one has seemed to mind him loitering about on the strip and the ladies of South Beach just cannot seem to get enough of him. Several party girls have been flocking to have their photos taken with the mythical beast.

“Sure, JD’s a little different, really hairy, kinda smelly and has terribly ugly feet, but have you seen the abs on him? Wow!”

It has been rumored that JD has been having so much fun on his vacation that he may make south Florida his permanent residence.

CHENGDU – Word has spread of the mythical creature, the “grass mud horse”, which is rumored to live in the Chinese desert. But what is it truly?

The New York Times has just published an article explaining what they believe to be the origins of the “grass mud horse”. Apparently, in protest of severe censorship, Chinese citizens “created” a list of 10 mythical creatures with names that sound similar to Chinese profanities. One of these animals is the grass mud horse, or cao ni ma.

The cao ni ma live in the Gobi Desert, where they have adapted to the harsh conditions. Their arch-nemeses are the “river crabs”, whom they do daily battle with.

Weekly World News protests this ill-informed article! It is well known the grass mud horse do indeed exist. This is clearly a conspiracy led by the Chinese government itself to fool outsiders into believing they do not have a cryptid “problem”. Footage has been shared world-wide of this mythical beast, even accompanied by the voices of children singing worship.