NEW YORK – Dan Rather went on MSNBC and confirmed to Lawrence O’Donnell that he is, in fact, an alien.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – As temperatures neared 100 Monday, after hovering in the high 90s for most of the week, a Southside alien was taken to Mercy Hospital suffering from heatstroke.

LOS LUNAS, NM – Federal Agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives in cooperation with the FBI raided an underground warehouse used to stage alien cock fighting.