I’m madder than Paula Jones with a leaky implant!

I’m madder than Winston Churchill at an A.A. meeting! Just when I figured Al Gore couldn’t get any nuttier, yesterday he made a fool of himself again.

Seems some movie star named Megan Fox did what Hollywood types do best: bad mouthing the U.S. of A. to a bunch of foreigners!

WASHINGTON, DC – Elizabeth Cheney is likening her father’s defense of waterboarding to Al Gore’s campaign for climate change.

I’m madder than a plucked pigeon! Did you hear they’re building a statue to Al Gore, down in Tennessee? It’s enough to make Michelangelo lose his marbles!

ANCHORAGE, AK – Ted Stevens International Airport closed this weekend due to volcanic ash. Former Senator Ted Stevens believes it’s all part of a liberal conspiracy.

I’m madder than a hippie chick who’s run out of hemp tampons!

ATLANTA, GA – Following four extra weeks of campaigning, Democratic challenger, Jim Martin lost by an impressive 15 percent.

SPRINGFIELD, IL – In a move widely seen as political pandering, the Governor of Illinois announced an unusual choice for Obama’s seat in the Senate.

PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.