I’m madder than Winston Churchill at an A.A. meeting! Just when I figured Al Gore couldn’t get any nuttier, yesterday he made a fool of himself again.

He gave a speech at some fancy British college, and told the kids that fighting global warming was like fighting Hitler.

Well, global warming and World War II both had something to do with “gas”, but other than that, I don’t get it. I didn’t drop out of divinity school like Al Gore did, and I didn’t invent the internet or get a hoity toity Nobel Prize, so can somebody explain his speech to me?

If the sun is Hitler, does that make the moon Mussolini? Are polar bears the Poles? Are cow farts the Kamikaze? OK, Japan was the Land of the Rising Sun but this is ridiculous!

Reading his speech, it’s pretty clear Al Gore thinks he’s the Winston Churchill in all this. Well, he’s fat enough, but that’s about it. I can’t believe Al would think much of Churchill’s famous cigars – don’t they cause pollution? Not as much as Gore’s Lear jet and two SUVs, I’ll bet.

So, is Gore planning on ending global warming by nuking the sun? Twice?

Besides, it was Hitler who started the first anti-smoking campaign. You’d think Al would like him for that!

The trouble with Al Gore’s speech is that nobody’s ever died of global warming, World War II wasn’t a scam FDR cooked up to make money (although I wouldn’t put it past the S.O.B…) and the sun hasn’t bombed Pearl Harbor.

Plus nobody has to hide their Cadillacs and those old-fashioned light bulbs in their attics. Well, not yet, anyhow…

I’m madder than a plucked pigeon! Did you hear they’re building a statue to Al Gore, down in Tennessee? It’s enough to make Michelangelo lose his marbles!

Tennessee wants to honor Al Gore cuz he won that foreign Nobel Prize thing.

Funny: Al Gore lost his own state in that Presidential election, but now they’re gonna build a monument to the guy. It’s cuz he’s the only guy from Tennessee who ever won a Nobel Prize – well, now you know why!

I never understood why Al Gore won a “Peace” prize anyhow, since his stupid global warming scam has caused millions of fights and arguments.

Scientists who don’t believe in global warming get fired and blackballed and bad mouthed – how peaceful does THAT sound?

Aren’t dictators the only ones that build statues to themselves while they’re still alive? Oh, wait…

Now some of you are thinking: a statue of Al Gore? How will we tell it from the real thing? He’s already as stiff as a drugstore Indian!

Maybe it’ll be like the Washington Monument, all symbolic and that. So instead of looking like Al Gore, the statue will just be a twenty foot dollar sign or refrigerator.

And what will they make the statue out of? Recycled polar bear poop? Corncobs from the compost? They could always stick an old tire around his middle to make it more realistic!

How much energy’s gonna get wasted making this statue, anyhow? Isn’t there a depression on or something – what is this gonna cost? Do they even have money in Tennessee or do they just trade beef jerky and chewing tobacco?

The best Al Gore statue I can think of will turn all the pigeon poop into hot air!