CHARLESTON, WV – Bat Boy trapped Santa Claus!  Mutant child not sure what he’s supposed to do with him now.

Last night while making his yearly trip Santa Claus was successfully captured by America’s Favorite Mutant, Bat Boy!  Santa trackers were bewildered when he appearing in radars and being seen by people in airplanes.  Santa is at the time of publishing still detained in a cave in West Virginia.

Bat Boy is believed to have used his night vision and natural sonar to get the best of Santa.  Sources believe it most likely that Bat Boy was hiding among stalactites on the roof of his cave wearing his Christmas sweater, and dropped a fishing net on Santa when he arrived.  Santa probably passed out from the image of an excited Bat Boy rushing towards him, as Bat Boy has that affect on people.

The international community is stunned that Santa Claus has been successfully captured.  Most political figures are breathing a sigh of relief that Santa was caught before he could try and enter Iran.  Earlier this week President Ahmedinejad  spoke out against Santa, vowing that any intrusion of Iran’s borders by him would be seen as an act of war by all Western countries.  This violates international conventions as Santa Claus has been seen as an a-political fixture since 1685.  Thankfully with Santa detained an international incident has been avoided.

Bat Boy is expected to release Santa Clause later this morning.  Sources close to Bat Boy believe he most likely caught Santa for harmless reasons.  Once they have shared a few cookies and talked about Bat Boy’s wish list Santa will resume his yearly rounds.

]]> http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/14695/bat-boy-traps-santa/feed/ 4 Reginald Cunningham III bat_boy_traps_santa http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/4928/ahmedinejad-hosts-christmas-special/ http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/4928/ahmedinejad-hosts-christmas-special/#comments Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:52:59 +0000 Reginald Cunningham III http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/?p=4512 ]]>

TEHRAN, IRAN – Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmedinejad shocked the world this week by appearing on a one hour Christmas special broadcast on the BBC.

“Iranian Mountain Holiday with Mahmoud Ahmedinejad” was broadcast on BBC World satellite television station, to the offense and confusion of many.

Greeting the world in a seasonal appliqué sweater, the Iranian dictator hosted the special featuring holiday songs, skits, and numerous special guests. Arabic pop singers and entertainer appeared on the show, taking place on a soundstage poorly constructed to look like a cabin in the mountains. In several of the scenes a boom mic or automatic rifle could be seen pointing at the entertainers.

Several puppets made out of burlap sacks with “US NAVY” still written on them appeared throughout the special, singing cheery songs with Ahmedinejad. Fatima Al-Shiraz, a classically trained Persian singer, brought the host and several members of the attending death squad to tears with her rendition of Silent Night.

Ahmedinejad then took a moment to have a fire-side chat directly with the audience. The despot called upon people of all faiths and backgrounds to come together in a spirit of peace and cooperation. He then gave a coded message to all his friends with an “Ahmedinejad Secret Decoder Pin.” The CIA has refused to comment on the messages translation.