WASHINGTON – The White House confirmed rumors that President Obama is replacing Joe Biden with Andrew Cuomo.

President Obama has asked for the resignation of Joe Biden as Vice President of the United States.  Vice President Biden has not made an announcement yet, but is expected to by August 1st.

The re-election team of President Obama convinced the President that he needed to “beef up” the ticket for 2012, and this was the time to do it.

“Joe’s a great guy.  Everybody loves Joe in the White House,” said Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary.  ”But Joe adds nothing to the 2012 ticket.   Andrew is a strong candidate and politician.  He will really give the ticket a boost in 2012.”

“The president called up Cuomo and said, ‘Andrew, you have to do this for the good of the country.”  Cuomo immediately said yes.

“Andrew is fabulous.  In New York he recently added a property-tax cap, passed ethics reform and, gay marriage,” said Carney.  ”He’s a winner.”

Biden was reported to be “extremely confused” according to White House insiders.  ”Does that mean I won’t get to fly on Air Force 2 any more?”

Michelle Obama has volunteered to sit down with Joe and make him understand that he has to go.  ”Michelle is very good with Joe.  She speaks slowly and clearly.  He gets her and she gets him,” Michelle Obama’s Chief of Staff told WWN.

Cuomo told WWN that he is excited to be joining the Presidential ticked in 2012.  ”It’s about time we have an Italian-American in the White House.”

Asked by WWN whether he had the same Mafia ties that his father has, Cuomo responded to Garrett Hawley, “Hey, I know where your family lives!”

Cuomo will not resign as Governor until he officially becomes Vice President in January of 2013.

Obama-Cuomo.   The ‘Ma’ and the ‘Mo’ in 2012!

WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee and GOP leaders have conceded the 2012 election to President Barack Obama!

Following the successful mission to kill Osama Bin Laden, the Republicans feel that President Barack Obama should serve  a second term and have decided to concede the 2012 election.

“He got bin Laden, he deserves a second term. Period,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner.  “He’s my President now.”  Boehner said before breaking down in tears.

“We should just cancel the 2012 election now, and save the taxpayers money,” said Senator John McCain.  “This was the greatest covert mission in the history of the United States and President Obama deserves all the credit.”

Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, and Tim Pawlenty have all thrown their support behind President Obama.  “He will go down in history as one of this country’s greatest military leaders,” said Mike Huckabee.  “There’s no reason for any American to vote for anyone except Barack Obama.  Let’s just give him a pass and get on with making this country better.”

Huckabee is hoping that he and his band, The Little Rockers, will get to play at Obama’s second inauguration.

Here’s the ladies of The View discussing canceling the 2012 election – before the GOP conceded:

http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/eyeblast.swf?v=hdaG2G8z4z

NEW YORK, NY – Lou Dobbs has confirmed he will be running for President in 2012, on the Unashamedly Xenophobic ticket.

Dobbs retired recently after spending nearly 30 years as an anchorman for CNN.  He left the program due to controversy around his views on illegal immigration and the Obama Birther conspiracy.  Now with extra time on his hands, Dobbs in considering a run in politics.

Lou Dobbs said he will run on the Unashamedly Xenophobic ticket.  “We’ve got to do something for this country,” said Dobbs in an interview yesterday.  He went on to describe how America is losing touch with its roots:  “America deserves a leader that fight for our identity.  Finally, there will be a party for middle class white people who are threatened by change.”

Political advisors say that Dobbs is capitalizing on a rift in the Republican party.  Around the country moderate Republicans are at odds with staunchly conservative Republicans.  Feeling abandoned by moderate Republicans, the more extreme conservatives have already begun threatening to create a third party.  Some believe Lou Dobbs would hope to rally these disaffected and inherently frightened conservatives and spearhead their third party initiative.

“Some people say that after 9/11 and the wars abroad they are tired of living in fear.  I say America isn’t scared enough!”  Dobbs continued in his interview.  “There are people out there who aren’t like us, and I don’t know about you but that scares me!  Mexico could invade at any minute!  Al-Queda has sleeper cells everywhere!  Somebody needs to stand up for the sake of regression to a simpler time, in the face of a changing world!”

Dobbs released on his website his first commercial for a presidential campaign.  In the video he stands in front of a mirror talking himself up, encouraging himself to stand up to stand up for the middle man, the scared man, and be the voice of “Real America.”  “Somebody has to stand up to the Liberal Agenda, the Gay Agenda, the Illegal Alien Agenda!  Are you threatened by change?  You should be.  I’m Lou Dobbs, and I want to be your President.”

Another media personality Glenn Beck has also considered a third party alternative.  Beck’s fan base is similarly conservative and accustomed to being afraid.  In several of his episodes Beck has also chastised the Republican party for being too moderate, and not speaking to the needs of its more conservative fringe.  Lou Dobbs is expected to meet with Beck to join forces in creating a third major political party.

]]> http://weeklyworldnews.com/politics/13893/lou-dobbs-presidential-run/feed/ 1 Reginald Cunningham III lou_dobbs_for_president