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GOLF TO INITIATE ALL-STAR EVENT


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NEW YORK, NY – Move over Pro bowl, horrible NHL All-Star goal fest, and no-D NBA all-star crapfest. Step aside soccer exhibition matches, one-on-one celebrity poker tournaments, and pretty much the entire Olympics. Golf has decided it wants in on the all-star game phenomena.

This week, to coincide with the MLB’s midsummer classic, the USGA announced that it too will hold an ‘All-Star’ event, perhaps as early as 2020.

Officials stated their need for the decade long delay, to work out the kinks in the system, but most expert analysts, and Jim Nantz, believe golf will follow the baseball format.  Meaning: Players will be selected by flawed fan voting; the game will be played in the middle of a season to maximize player schedule disruption; there will be some sort of skills event (think putt putt, longest drive, and a ‘fan-interactive’ club toss); and players will be forced to wear stupid uniforms signifying the event.

Said one pro, “I think it’s great.  It will be so unlike the regular tour.  Instead of the best 120 golfers competing each weekend, this will take the best 100-120 golfers, and have them compete over a weekend.  But individually.”

True.  Unlike majors, where major titles, legacies, and reputations are made, a ‘Golf All-Star Event’, will allow the players to play for something they can’t get at regular events, majors, skins games, or charity pro-ams.  This will be an ‘All-Star’ tournament, mostly because it’ll say ‘All-Star’ on the trophy.

Said John Daly, “As long as there’s a Hooters nearby, I’m in”.  Then he continued, “Actually I’ll take a 7-11 if the beer is cold and they smell smokes.’” (can you say lock for fan-vote champion?).

Who knows, if successful, maybe tennis and boxing will follow suit.  This writer doesn’t just believe we ‘should’ have ‘All-Star’ Golf.  We need ‘All-Star’ Golf.  Hey, if the WNBA can have one, why not golf?

For more Shoeless Joe Jackson, and articles and videos that spin sports and comedy in ways ESPN isn’t allowed to, check out http://www.dailyballbreakers.com/ (breaking balls every day).