DENVER, CO – Congratulations to former Bronco’s running back Travis Henry. He’s a father. Again. For the 11th time. ESPN is reporting today that Travis has knocked up the 10th different girl, for his 11th offspring, and both anti-condom father, and ridiculously myopic female are doing fine.
When reached for comment, Travis was still beaming when he added, “I hear a lot that there are a lot of good guys in the NFL. And it’s true. But I’m worried about the quota of knuckleheads. Guys like Matt Jones (recently arrested on violation from his cocaine probation) can’t play forever. So I’m doing my part to start the next generation”.
This reporter, for one, thinks Mr. Henry is onto something. 11 different kids, with 10 different women, who will all share 1 father, probably have little chance of turning out OK. Especially, if, as is the case with Mr. Henry, he also fails to pay child support, and is facing drug charges for a cocaine deal. This guy rocks!
Said Mr. Henry, “Hey, I have to be an example. If I didn’t break the law, get kicked out of the league, and keep fathering children, how will those kids know how to f*** up when they get older?”. Well said, sir.
Mr. Henry was about to continue, but then a waitress walked by, and he got up to follow her, and start work on kid #12. What focus. And what dedication.
But not everyone is a fan of Mr. Henry’s method to increase the ‘dumb athlete’ population. Said the Octomom, “You don’t have to use 10 different women to give future dumb athletes a start. You can do it with just one. And yes, tell Travis I’m interested”.
With guys like Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, and Dwight Howard working hard to prop up the ‘good guy’ quotient in sports, good to see guys like Travis still have their priorities straight. God bless, Travis. And, no, don’t pull out.
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