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CHARLIE SHEEN SIGNED BY ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS


PHOENIX – The Arizona Diamondbacks signed Charlie Sheen as a reserve second baseman for the remainder of the season.

Charlie Sheen, who starred in the Major League movies, took a tryout with the Arizona Diamondbacks and the club was so impressed they signed him to a contract for the rest of the 2011 season, as they look to solidify their lead at the top of the NL West.

However,  Sheen took batting practice with the team over the weekend and the former actor damaged his arm and he was forced to watch the game from the stands.  The team expects him to be able to play with the team when they travel to Atlanta next weekend.

The 46-year-old actor, now ballplayer, shrugged off the injury.  “It’s nothing, I hurt my elbow more jacking off.”

Lyle Overbay, first baseman for the Diamondbacks, welcomes the addition of Sheen.  “People can say what they want, but Sheen is a damn good ballplayer.  He’ll add depth to our team as we head for the stretch.”

J.J. Putz, the Aritzona pitcher, is a good friend of Sheen.  “I know Charlie wants to pitch, but he doesn’t have the arm for it anymore.  Maybe ten years ago, he could have pitched.  But, we are happy to have his bat in the lineup and he’s still a great fielding second baseman. We’re thrilled to have him.”

The troubled actor played baseball throughout highs school and college and was drafted by The New York Yankees, but he took the lead in the hit movie Wall Street instead.

Sheen told WWN:  “Baseball was never just a hobby, it’s my religion, my purpose.  Baseball is all that matters in my life now.

The former cocaine addict was so pleased to be offered a contract with the Diamondbacks, that he compared the buzz he got from the news to the high of smoking crack.

Capri Anderson, the woman that Charlie allegedly beat up in a Plaza Hotel room, said she thinks Sheen will make a great Diamondback.  “I hope he gets hit in the head with a slider.”

Sheen responded simply with, “Winning.”

Sheen also told WWN that before hurting his elbow, he hit a few balls out of Chase Field.  “It’s easy, I just picture the face of Chuck Lorre on the ball and then I smack the hell out of it.   Thanks, Chuckie.”