PITTSBURGH – Rex Ryan and the NY Jets lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers, but Rex had a “very special night” with his wife.
Rex Ryan is kicking himself tonight. He was close to bring the Jets to the Super Bowl, but the Steelers held on for the victory.
Rex was visibly annoyed on the sideline after the Steelers sealed the game with just under two minutes left. But, when Rex got back to the hotel room. His wife, who has a foot fetish and has done a lot of “foot porn” on the internet, was ready with a very special foot massage.
Rex forgot all his troubles. When asked about the game, Rex said, “Jets? What jets?”
The game was slow in the first half because The Jets. They were down 24-3 at the half and seemingly out of hope, the Jets rallied their way back to 24-19 before giving the ball to the Steelers just before the two-minute warning.
Three stops, three timeouts and the Jets would have the ball back with enough time to author a classic comeback, but they couldn’t do it. Ben Roethlisberger found Antonio Brown on third down with the entire faith of a franchise on the line to extend a Steelers drive and win a game that might have caused more pain than any other in the long, painful history of the New York Jets.
They Jets didn’t get the job done. The Steelers ran the clock out and one more year was added to the misery that is the existence of every Jets fan that was born after 1960. There is plenty of blame to throw around, from Brian Schottenheimer’s play calls to the brutal roughing the kicker call in the third quarter to Sanchez’s fumble that made the game 24-0 just before the half, but the fact is that the Jets were sitting with a chance to win the game on third and six with their defense on the field.
The Steelers advanced to yet another Super Bowl and we are left to try to pick up the pieces of the loss one more time.
The Jets came closer than any Jets team has ever come since Joe Namath’s guarantee, but it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough to make up for the chances squandered in a game they absolutely should have won. They came out flat, spotted the Steelers a huge lead and could never catch up.
But Rex Ryan is happy with his foot fetish wife, Michelle. They spent most of the night rubbing each other’s feet and, well the rest we can’t print here.
The bottom line is that Rex Ryan is now focused on more important things than the Super Bowl. He wants to change the name of the National Football League.