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PELOSI REJECTS MICHAEL JACKSON RESOLUTION


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WASHINGTON, DC – After shutting down a resolution to honor Michael Jackson this week, Nancy Pelosi was voted House Party Pooper.

Pelosi put an end to a possible resolution that would have paid tribute to the recently deceased musician this week.  She claimed that Congress could express their condolences individually but such a measure would waste valuable government time.  The House then passed a nearly unanimous vote naming Pelosi the House Party Pooper.

The Party Pooper Resolution is merely the culmination of a long string of events in Congress.  Nancy Pelosi voted down Congressional Casual Fridays last spring, and moving session to a local TGI Fridays a month later.  These moves, aimed at forcing Congress to address health care reform and climate change without the distraction of Hawaiian shirts and drink specials, earned her enemies on both sides of the aisle.  During a late session addressing the financial bail out, partisan opponents agreed to terms that would settle their differences with a Beer Pong tournament.  Pelosi shot this measure down as well, forcing the leaders to put away the Official Congressional Beer Pong Table.

Pelosi was also staunchly opposed to a House vs. Senate kickball game held last month.  Representatives avoided her opposition by holding the game on a Sunday, and changing the date without telling her.  Congress beat the Senate yet again and police are currently investigating several grams of cocaine and two missing interns related to the event.

As part of the Party Pooper Resolution Pelosi will be forced to wear a silly hat while presiding over Congress, until either she can find a snipe or does a keg stand.