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IRAN’S MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE


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TEHRAN – Despite repeated crackdowns, protests in Iran continue.  To calm and distract the populace, Ahmedinejad staged a tribute to Michael Jackson.

Since last week’s elections, violence continues on the streets of Iran.  Citizens keep protesting on the streets of Iran what they believe to be an unfair election.  But government authorities, police and national guard have suppressed their dissent violently.

In an effort to distract his people from the election, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad organized a special tribute to Michael Jackson.  Broadcast on state television this weekend, the tribute video was a restaging of Jackson’s Smooth Criminal starring the Iranian Dictator.

Filmed on a government soundstage in Tehran, the video opens on Ahmedinejad, wearing a white pinstripe suit and blue shirt, entering a 1930’s style club.  Going to the back of the club he approaches a gangster, Mr. Big, who appears to be an Armani clad overweight version of Uncle Sam.

Mr. Big sits in a large chair atop a cage holding several Iranian children.  Ahmedinejad accuses Mr. Big of having stolen the “Hearts and Minds of Iran’s youth” and demands he return them.  The villain only laughs and orders his men to shoot Ahmedinejad.

The Iranian Leader throws a coin into a jukebox, which have been outlawed in Iran since 1982, that starts to play.  Mahmoud Ahmedinejad leads the gangsters in dancing to Smooth Criminal in a low budget recreation of Michael Jackson’s famous video.  Dancers for the video were taken from Iran’s popular show “So You Think You Can Dance for the Glory of Allah?”

Using his “Dance Magic” to distract the gangsters, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad frees the children and escapes.  Shortly the magic wears off and Mr. Big orders his men to follow “That cursed yet benevolent man!”  Ahmedinajad and the children are soon surrounded by the gangster and his men.

Looking to the sky Ahmedinejad sees a crescent moon and star, and drawing power from the Iranian people, turns into a giant Iranian robot.  The robot looks suspiciously like an original 1984 Optimus Prime doll, repainted with the Iranian national colors.  In a dazzling stop motion animation sequence cut together with stock news footage of explosions, the giant Ahmedinejad robot dispatches the American gangsters and saves the day.

Ratings for the broadcast cannot yet be determined, but State sponsored media insists that it was incredibly popular despite millions of Iranians saying otherwise.