TEHRAN – While violence continues to rock Iran over election results, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad went into a funk after President Obama never returns his calls.
Throughout Iran, millions of citizens continue to take to the streets to voice opposition to this week’s election. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s victory is seen as highly questionable by many independent authorities and millions of Iranian citizens are rioting over alleged abuse of the democratic system.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has since become a weepy recluse. Sources say it began when President Obama said he would call to offer support but never did. White House sources say, “The President said he MAY call, it was never anything definite.” The Iranian President was heartbroken to be denied emotional support in this trying time from Obama, whom he thought shared a special kinship.
Since then the Iranian President has spent most of his time locked in his room, eating cookie dough and watching Meg Ryan movies. Officials within the White House have even confirmed that they have had to call block Ahmadinejad’s personal number since he has tried to call Obama 853 times over the past 4 days.
The US government is withholding any official comment regarding Iran or the election until the legitimacy of the election is verified.
Early on Monday, Ahmadinejad flew to Russia to meet with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and China’s Hu Jintao who have offered their emotional support over pints of Chunky Monkey. The leaders are expected to talk about the evils of American globalization and trade agreements over the next few days over apple-tinis and a “Sex and the City” marathon.