WASHINGTON, DC – At this year’s CPAC, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele attempted to settle their feud over Republican Party leadership with a mud wrestling match.
Michael Steele has taken umbrage with the many criticisms from Limbaugh on how he has performed as Chair of the Republican National Committee. The two decided to air their grievances once and for all in an American rules mud wrestling match on the closing night of the Conservative Political Action Conference.
“We hoped this would get conservatives excited, and unified behind one leader” said David Keene, organizer of the event.
Three massive convention rooms were packed to capacity to see the clash of conservative titans. Representatives from every state were in attendance, including scores of college students who were getting excited about the politics of traditional values for the first time.
The opponents took to the stage to cheers and music. Michael Steele ran to the stage giving high fives to the music “Momma said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J. Rush Limbaugh rode to the stage in a convertible golf cart, smoking a cigar and waving an American flag while “Eye of the Tiger” played.
The opponents agreed to rules set out by a referee, then went at it. Crowd went wild watching their figureheads duel it out. The mood changed quickly, however, when Steele’s dignified grey suit was ripped off and Limbaugh lost his polo shirt and pleated khakis. The half naked mud covered men continued to wrestle for another fifteen minutes, all projected in high definition screens mounted throughout the area.
After several claims of cheating and four “time outs” the fight was called. Once the clothes came off, no one, including the referee, wanted to look close enough to see if rules were being broken so the fight was called as a draw.
Official leadership of the Republican Party is still up in the air and conflict within the party continues. On his radio show Monday, Limbaugh proclaimed the fight was a victory for his side. Like all other Republicans who argue with Limbaugh, Steele has since apologized, for reasons yet unknown, claiming it was all a “misunderstanding.”