UPDATE: Senator Bobby Jindal’s talks with Satan appear to be working, as he was picked to deliver the official GOP response to President Obama’s State of the Union.
But Jindal may need to watch out for Satan’s tricky ways, as the deal could be backfiring.
Jindal’s response has been widely panned by both Democrats and Republicans, using words like, “amateurish,” “laughable” and “a missed opportunity.”
Anonymous sources have indicated that Jindal’s lawyers are going through his contract with Satan to find any loopholes that led to this disaster. Weekly World News hopes to bring you a copy of this contract shortly.
December 3rd, 2008
BATON ROUGE, LA – After their crushing defeat in November the Republican Party was left with no clear leader. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal hopes to fill the power vacuum, and has entered talks with Satan to do just that.
Jindal and his lawyers contacted the Prince of Darkness, most likely through Craigslist, and are currently negotiating an IS-w1 deal, immortal soul for one wish, that would have Jindal crowned the figurehead of the Republican Party. Despite his formidable legal team, if granted the nomination Jindal will certainly not escape with his soul.
Jindal is well acquainted with Satan, having led his high school Exorcism team to the state championships three years in a row.
If the deal goes through and he is chosen he will be anointed with ram’s blood in the basement of the Fox News headquarters.
More on this story, as it develops.