WASHINGTON, DC – Continuing the tradition, outgoing President Bush left a personal note to the new President Obama in the Oval Office.
Weekly World News investigators have uncovered a copy. Below are sections of the letter from President Bush, welcoming and advising the new President:
“If you’re brokering peace with Israel and Pakistan Portugal whoever, ask Miles in the kitchen to make those yummy crab thingies. People always love them and it gets everybody talking!”
“In case of an emergency, there’s a bag of chips taped under the desk in the Oval Office.”
“Amanda who’s in charge of laundry gets really cranky sometimes, compliment her hair and she’ll ease right up.”
“Ask Manny in the grounds crew about the luau. He’ll know what you mean, heh heh.”
“If the Vice President ever tells you ‘Not now, in your second term’, don’t believe him. He’ll forget and never get around to it.”
“Never let them make you eat caviar at a state function. It tastes gross and you’re the President, you shouldn’t have to.”
“Yell ‘GUN!’ some time and watch the Secret Service guys react. They hate when you do that, but it’s worth it!”
A full page was dedicated to explaining how to work the television in the living area. Three false starts were crossed out before the former President got it right, culminating with the advice “But you’ve got kids so when in doubt, just ask them. I’m leaving you a remote cozy to keep the clicker in. Otherwise, they can get lost pretty easily.”
Bush continued, “You know the office of the President can be a very difficult job. This book really helped me get through the rough times in office.” Sitting next to the note was a copy of The Secret.
Mr. Bush also left a note for the Obama girls, Sasha and Maliya. Inside it outlined people they would be running into, including who is nice and who makes the best snacks. He concluded the note with “Don’t ask the Secret Service men for piggy back rides, they won’t do it. I learned the hard way. The Vice President, however, is required by the Constitution to give piggy back rides to anyone in the First family, whenever they want!”
While departing away in Marine One helicopter, Former President Bush convinced the pilot to do a fly-by to the Capitol one last time.
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January 21st, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Thanks I needed that
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 am
bush can write?
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:51 am
Did someone say Luau?
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
how about Bush was the president for 8 years. he deserves a little respect so start showing it too him!
January 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 am
What would Ed Anger say if he read this article? It might throw him into a coma again! I think President Bush was just messing with Obatma's head.
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 am
Haha, are you serious? Lincoln preserved the Union and freed the slaves. Why don't you complain about "Abe Was A Babe"?
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:02 am
Hey man get used to it. there is an article that says a flying spaghetti monster crashed that plane in NY. Ya seriously
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:05 am
Oh so you are seriously that conservative. Not even his freakin' family respects him as a president or a person.
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:09 am
Oh so your really that conservative. No body respects him, and frankly, he doesn't deserve it.
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Yes actually I am, and I'd love to see u do a better job at what he did! Everyone wants respect for Obama and his middle name but u can talk bad about a president who went through 911. really patriotic1
January 24th, 2009 at 3:49 am
Obama is satan spawn, let him rule you lame arses!
January 27th, 2009 at 2:21 am
Obama can read?
February 4th, 2009 at 3:50 am
ok this is funny, people can talk all the crap they want on bush (personally i did not agree with his methods but what ever) but at the end of the day bush ruled our country for 8 yrs and we survived it all so technically he did an all right job, sure the economy is shit and stuff, but we could not have done it any better
February 4th, 2009 at 3:51 am
ouch… low blow
February 8th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
LOL.Love it.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:11 am
Well, if you are looking for your own vacation home, there’s a really nice place in Rehoboth Beach. I stayed there one summer and it’s just perfect. It’s a very roomy three bedroom home with a deck and all the trimmings. Best part about this place is that it has a mother in law suite with a separate entrance. The suite has its own kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom. So you could pay your mortgage by renting it out, while still having a place to call your own. So, take a look: http://www.homeinrehoboth.net They have lots of photos there.