Mitt Romney has secured the coveted endorsement of the Washington space alien P’Lod, who predicts Romney will win in a landslide!
“No candidate has been elected President without the alien’s support since the Gipper in 1980,” notes prominent UFO investigator Kelvin Boxworthy.
“This is great news for the Romney campaign, and the nation,” said former Secretary of State Colin Powell. P’Lod predicted that Romney will win 371 electoral votes and 59% of the popular vote in Tuesday’s election.
“If history is any guide, word of P’Lod’s endorsement will nudge the undecided voters into Romney’s camp – and Democratic voters will follow suit, giving Romney a resounding victory.
The dramatic development, delighted the Romney camp and caps a roller-coaster campaign, highlighted by a highly negative campaign and two boring conventions.
“President Obama is devastated by this news,” said a White House aide. ”But at least he nows how this will turn out on Tuesday night.”
P’Lod announced his long-anticipated decision in a closed-door meeting in Cleveland, Ohio. Reportedly the alien provided Romney with his own plans for getting the economy going again and wiping out terrorism.
According to an eyewitness, “After, the alien warmly shook Mitt Romney’s hand and said “America needs a president who has never drank alcohol and has a real “cool” wife. The alien reportedly said that Ann Romney was “worth abducting and bringing back to my planet.”
The mysterious extraterrestrial hails from Sirius B and has often been described as the “worst kept secret in Washington.”
Although P’Lod’s presence on Earth is officially “highly classified,” 27 U.S. Senators – more than half – have photos of themselves proudly posing with the ambassador from space on the walls of their offices.
P’Lod first backed Ronald Reagan in 1980 and has backed every winning president since. He backed Barack Obama in 2008, but feels that “change has not come quick enough” and that Barack Obama has “let me down.” P’Lod has visited the White House 79 times since 2008 – and was actually in the situation helping Obama on the night Osama Bin Laden was captured.
P’Lod also went on to say that he believed Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii, but was formed in the Andromeda Galaxy by aliens from Planet Gootan.
Political pundits across the country say that P’Lod’s endorsement and prediction are “the most significant development” of the campaign.
“It will be a landslide for Romney,” David Axelrod, adviser to President Obama, told Meet The Press. ”P’Lod never misses.”
P’Lod is getting ready for his photo-op with President Romney!