CRAWFORD, TX – Bush Administration officials have announced the latest recipient of a Presidential pardon.
In a blatant move to cloak a big news story in the post-Christmas haze, the President has chosen the beneficiary of his forgiving nature – Manigator!
While not featured on the original list of hundreds of names considered by the Judicial Department for a pardon, Manigator seems to have received the pardon directly from the President himself.
“The President has always been a fan of Manigator and his unique style of shenanigans,” Dana Perino, White House Press Secretery said to the handful of correspondents who showed up for the daily press briefing.
Refusing to take questions about the pardon, it was clear that Perino was trying to slip it in among the lighter news stories of the day.
Legal analysts are eager to read the briefing and documentation of the pardon to see for which of his many crimes Manigator is being pardoned.
“With such a lengthy history of misdemeanors and felonies its really anyone’s guess.” Judicial expert and political analyst Jeffrey Toobin said. “Perhaps it’s for participating in multiple hate crimes while on the Ellen Degeneres show or assaulting the Rockettes or simply for disturbing the peace nearly every day.
“Maybe it’s for starring in the worst film ever made. We’ll just have to wait and see.”