WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning response to the passing of Ricardo Montalban, Barack Obama has announced last-minute changes to his upcoming inauguration.
Obama revealed today that he would immediately scrap all Abraham Lincoln references at his inauguration and instead would deliver a new theme of “Fantasy Inauguration”. In adhering to this theme, Obama will be clad for all inaugural festivities in the white-tie popularized by Montalban in his role as Mr. Roarke on the long-running television series. Obama also made the shocking announcement that his half-man half-bat half-brother Obatma would attend the inauguration and serve as his Tattoo.
Obama’s official announcement paid tribute to Montalban and his legacy. The announcement also took many by surprise in Washington.
Obama explained, “Abraham Lincoln was a great man, but Ricardo Montalban and the work he did on Fantasy Island holds far greater personal meaning to me. The opening scenes of the show were even filmed in my childhood state of Hawaii.”
He continued, “America is a place, like Fantasy Island, where your dreams can come true. Sure, there is a price for making those dreams happen. That price is what we call ‘taxes’. My job as President, much like Mr. Roarke’s job on ‘Fantasy Island’, is making sure you get your money’s worth in making your dreams happen. Think of me as the new Mr. Roarke. The man who is going to make your dreams come true. This is truly America’s Fantasy Inauguration”.
Asked whether there would be a role for Ken Berry in the inauguration, Obama refused to speculate.
Obatma, Obama’s half-brother, was unavailable for comment.