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BAT BOY TO BE ROMNEY’S VP

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GOP insiders are convinced that Mitt Romney will pick Bat Boy as his Vice Presidential nominee.

According to sources close to the Romney camp,  Bat Boy could get the nod as soon as this week.  Campaign insiders say that Mitt Romney has looked at Marco Rubio, Condoleezza Rice, Rob Portman and Chris Christie as possible running mates, but he feels that Bat Boy will give him the “sizzle” his campaign sorely needs.

“Bat Boy is from West Virginia and really understands the struggles that the middle class is going through,” said a Romney advisor.  “With Bat Boy on the ticket, the Republicans should be able to carry the south, the midwest and all the Hollywood who all love mutants.

Some inside the Republican party are not happy with Bat Boy as the VP choice.  Karl Rove is said to be working overtime on a smear campaign to destroy Bat Boy’s credibility.

“Since that college professor pulled him out of a cave in West Virginia in 1992, he’s never fully acclimated to human culture, and he has a reputation for doing what the hell he wants to do regardless of the consequences,” said Rove.

But the Romney camp is not worried about Rove.  “Bat Boy’s past is unusual, anyway, so there’s no doubt Rove and his minions, can make some hay with it,” said a campaign insider. “But we think we are making a great choice.  He’s certainly a much better choice than Sarah Palin.”

The Obama campaign has no comment on  Bat Boy as the VP nominee, but clearly they are worried.  “Except for Richard Nixon, there’s never really been a mutant running for office.  So, we will have to rethink our strategy.”

As for the legality of Bat Boy running for vice president, Republicans have determined that because the famed imp was born in the United States, he is a citizen despite the fact that he’s not entirely human.

He is thought to be just 16 or 17 years old, adds the Republican source, “but if you measure his age in bat years, he’s more like 179, plenty old enough to qualify for the No. 2 spot.”

Romney plans on making his announcement about Bat Boy in a cave in West Virginia.   99% of bats have already pledged their support.

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27 thoughts on “BAT BOY TO BE ROMNEY’S VP”

  5. I may have to abandon my lifelong liberal status. I really, really want a dangerous, cannibalistic freak next to Mitt. Really close.

    Reply

    • REad the article

      because the famed imp was born in the United States, he is a citizen despite the fact that he’s not entirely human.

      He is thought to be just 16 or 17 years old, adds the Republican source, “but if you measure his age in bat years, he’s more like 179, plenty old enough to qualify for the No. 2 spot.”

    • paris, Batboy was "found" in June of 1992. If he was at least 10 or 12 at that time, he would be at least 30 by now.

  9. Pingback: Toys, Pt. 2: Exceptions, Elaborations, Errata, Etc., Etc., Etc. |

    • Come now! Bat boy is of course real! He has his own book, for pete's sake! And now he'll be our vice president! I'm so happy!!!

  15. Pingback: The Obama Camp begins public education campaign on Romney’s potential VP picks | Under the Mountain Bunker

    • I saw bat boy helping the 10th mountain division kill al qeada fighters in Afghanistan. Because of his unique cave upbringing he was invaluable.

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